Da Pixie Pages

My, Where did my life go?

2011-04-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

I remember being a small child, walking through an apartment building or a store or restaurant and seeing 15, 16, 17 year old teenagers. I remember trying to see the world in their eyes. Girls with pretty bleached blonde hair and fake nails, with beautiful smiles and their friends at their side, and guys driving in a pick up truck which had recently become their best friends.

I imagined those girls, in particular, complaining about homework and teachers, squealing over taking their best friends on long trips, and ever chatting about the boy drama they couldn't seem to escape.

I never, however, actually realized I would hit that age, and become something as sublimely perfect as a teenage girl.

Yesterday is when it really hit me I wasn't the day dreaming kid who was scared of everything and clung to her mother's leg anymore.

I was a teenage girl.

I'm taking my best friend four states down in a few days and I'm so excited I can't stand it. Guys are driving me crazy, in good ways and bad, and my hair is about as fake as it comes.

And essentially, I can't complain. There is something beautiful about teenage life. It's not half as shallow as it seems a lot of the time, I think. As a teenager, we learn and grow within ourselves. We get hurt, and we gage our own reactions, as well as others. We learn to cope with problems, to stand up in society without a parent holding our hands. And while the lessons we learn aren't always fun, they're always needed, and chocolate and good friends heal.

I feel a little like I'm dreaming. Or reading a story. My whole life feels like it's just a book I'm reading, and I'm still seven years old. I feel as if when I'm done with this book, I'll just go back to that simple childhood, and the biggest problem in my life will be my fear of the dark, and my biggest joy will be seeing my mom when she comes to give me a hug.

Well... On second thought, that still is the biggest joy in my life. :)

A Seperate Blog, for the visual things

2011-04-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

I'm going to create a new blog.
For some awesome visual projects.

Hopefully I'll use it consistently, but, I've promised that in the past with online-relating things, and you all see how they work out. >.>

Anyway, shall be fun, full of joy and interesting Indie art, and most of it done completely randomly.

Off to design a blog, I am so particular about how they look~

-Juli

Dear Blog;

2011-03-28T13:55:00.001-07:00

Life sucks. And sometimes it's hard to figure out how to make it better. Or who to talk to. Growing up happens to suck too.

Drama also sucks.

And, I've found, a great way of getting over life when it decides on a whim to suck, is to put away the electronics that connect you to other people, pull OUT the electronics which allow you to listen to music, and forget the rest. That is what I shall do.

Sincerely,

Juli

Wounded Lamb

2011-01-29T07:21:00.001-08:00

Tell me, tell me, wounded lamb
What's the worse thing you have felt?

The pain of a lie so cold?
A searing lash with a leather belt?

A loved one passed?
A frozen night?

Being used?
Failing though you give all your might?

Dealing with a sad and scary abuse?
Being alone among a thousand stars?

Tell me, tell me, wounded lamb
Tell me where you got these scars

The next generation.

2011-01-25T16:09:00.000-08:00

Food for thought.

Half of the school year is finished. The semester has ended. And, life goes on, each dreary day promising the same things as the day before; lather, rinse repeat. Five mornings a week I awake to walk through the same motions I do for the other four days. Tired eyes meet a bitter morning, too dark to see a thing, dragging feet touch the frozen tiled floor where the carpet ends, and, I fumble around sleepily, trying to gather my things together for the approaching day.

Such is my life, and the life of so many other teens.

At least so it seems.

It's odd to think of myself and all of the students I know as young adults, growing up, slowly transitioning out of a school kid and into an educated being, preparing themselves for more than college; for their life. Old, childlike habits continue to fade away, rebel trends disappear as they loose importance in the lives of the growing young.

This truly hit me mere days ago. Watching my brother and his friends get so near to the time they leave home made me realize they're not just students. They're people, with their own stories, their own dreams, their own talents, all rapidly changing, differing, blooming out of the childhood they shared into another part of their life; one which will they will each continue to grow and learn and develop apart from each other.

It's neither something I fear or am excited for. The whole process, day by day and step by step, feels natural, like drinking water when you're thirsty or bathing when you've been playing in the dirt.

Okay. Chew on that. Talk amongst yourselves. DISCUSS. (Coffee talk line.. LOL)

I can't think of any good, not awkward way to end this so... uhh. Bye.

My sun and I

2011-01-08T05:50:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning at six, way too early for a Saturday, and simply could not go back to sleep. I got up, put on a jacket, and got ready to go take a walk.

By the time I was out the door, the sun was barely rising up over the trees, brilliantly gold against a pink and blue sky with clouds which made my heart ache for summer. I walked my normal route, with the sun behind me. When I turned I saw it again, more brilliant than before, bursting with light through the tops of tall trees close by.

I found myself walking, not back to my house, but to the sun.

The bright sun; so joyous and radiant it made me smile just walking to the light I wouldn't catch. At times I ran to it, never wanting to leave it, never wanting it to change it's place in the sky or the brilliance I could see of it now.

And I thought for a moment, maybe that was why the sun is so bright- even though it's cold- in the winter. It's a sign warmth will come again.

That sun was my summer sun. That sun is the same sun which rises from the very depths of the Atlantic ocean during June. That same sun gives off heat as brilliant as it's warmth; and we'll feel it soon enough.

That cold, harsh winter sun, bitter as it seems during the day, is my beloved sun.

I walked on and on, never wanting to look away from the bright colors casted in the sky. I spoke to it; and it smiled back to me.

My week is made. So many appreciate a gentle moon; soft and dazzling, reflecting light, heat less, mysterious, but forget the sun, the true creator of the light we see on a moon.

-

Waking up and walking out
No one else is about

to one side the earth's asleep
dreaming softly, dreaming deep

but on the other it's breaking dawn
birds sing across a neighbor's lawn

the sun, so bold, awakens all
every creature, every critter, big and small

In awe of the bold and bright
I bask in it's light

I spend my morning with the sun
But alas, it's time is done

I had my time with the sunrise so grand
but it leaves me to wake up another land

I know we'll share a morning again
and I'll remember until then

how my sun smiled at me
giving me love, unchanging and free

Musings and poems.

2011-01-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

Winged Caterpillar
There was a pixie,
I once knew
with wings so soft
and eyes so blue

all who knew her,
claimed her wise
she believed it,
and to her surprise

when she walked
a painful track
her angelic wings
began to crack

Time seemed not to heal
her drooping wings
or bring life back
to the songs she sings

but one day she found
as she sat in a tree
an emerald cocoon
was becoming of she

I've not seen her
since that day
But I know she's well
and I can pray

that as she sleeps
away will go the crack
and when she's ready
my bright pixie will be back

--

An original poem by Juli-Anna :)

We all go through change.

We're unable to being who were were before change.

But we can be better.

I'm not who I was 3 years ago.

And, though I liked that "me", and it's a painful goodbye, I'm never going to be her again.

But I can be a better than her.

I'm asleep. In an emerald cocoon. I don't know when I'll wake up. I just know when I do, I'm going to feel more alike and different from myself than I ever have. And I'm going to be better than I ever have been. More patient. Less arrogant. A million other things. Changes that will happen because I will make them happen.

It's not a New Years resolution; it's just how it is. I don't like New Years resolutions. They're a joke. If you're really going to make something happen, make a change, you'll do it without it being January first. You'll do March eighth or September third or whatever day it hits you that you need to fix something about you for you.

So, it's not a resolution. It's a fact. I slowly see so many things about myself I should have worked on a long time ago slowly becoming easier to deal with, problems with my personality slowly going away. It's interesting; besides not feeling yourself anymore.

But I never liked staying the same anyway.

My hair is black.

:3

Random spark of Joy.

2010-12-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

I AM SO FRIGGIN HAPPY.

It's almost Christmas, I wrapped a gift in newspaper and I don't think I will ever consider using anything but newspaper as a wrapping solution, I get to see Anna Boo tomorrow, I talked to Josh last night (week = made) and I do not have school tomorrow.

I love my life.

Hey Friend

2010-12-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

This was a song I wrote on a whim after listening to a few new country CDs and strumming my awesome E-minor chord on the guitar. (Which, at the moment, is the best thing I can do. Haha. My G major is less than good, and while I can knock out the Chromatic Scale that's just not a hard task. So, strumming E-Minor makes me feel legit. I'm so lame.)

I know the tune, but trying to find it is killing me. Damn you, my limited two year piano skills and newbie guitar skills!

Oh well.

I'll find the matching guitar chords. Eventually.

Anyways~ Enjoy the rough draft of my song. :) Please don't steal it, famous singers and song writers who want to use my epic material!

Hey friend,
how've ya been?
Been a while since I've seen you around

Hey friend,
where've ya been?
it's so good to see you now

I hope life's treated you fair
though it certainly doesn't have to

and I hope you know,
wherever you go,
love's around you

It seems so wrong
it's been too long
since the last time I saw your face

I'll be strong
but when you're gone
this town is such a lonely place

But I know you were destined for greater things
than to stay still in this town

but when you're done
and your battle's won
I pray you'll come back around

and I hope life's treated you fair
though it certainly doesn't have to
and I hope you know
wherever you go
love's around you

remember old days
how we'd play
oh the memories with you I miss

and how the nights got colder
as we got older
and the very first time we kissed

that first kiss...
simple bliss...
the days and nights I miss....

so I hope life's treating you fair
though it certainly doesn't have to

and I hope you know
wherever you go
I love you

--

Lyrics and not-composed tune by Juli-Anna :)

Bah Humbug

2010-12-04T14:13:00.000-08:00

Bitter Winter

A leaf drops
my heart stops
the cold comes creeping in

like the bare trees
my heart shall freeze
at mother nature's sin

People pry
As I cry
over the hopeless season

and though they try
I'll forever sigh
the bitter cold being my reason

This won't suffice,
I hate the ice
and all that it shall bring

But I suffer through
so cold and blue
and hold out for the Spring

--

Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas tree,
oh Christmas tree,
truly my heart goes out to thee

Cut down so young
ornaments hung
from your branches prettily

and in a month or so
away you'll go
thrown out just like the rest

to rot away
colder each day
treated like a pest

A sad tradition
a silly mission
symbolizing a beauty all alone

For you I mourn
and feel so torn
over the pain we've known

Risen

2010-11-25T16:24:00.001-08:00

I sit alone
in the black
The sea is like glass
about to crack

I cannot tell
where the horizon starts
or where the ocean ends
or where the two part

I shiver silently
the night is cold
but it's all worth
what I'll soon behold

I look upon
the dull black glass
but then; here it is!
The sun, at last

out of the water
it seems it had came
alseep in the sea
and then burst into flame

The ball of red
puts strength in my day
and shows me the miracles
God grants when we pray

I love the sunrises at the ocean

Words of "wisdom"... To the lazy and hurried

2010-11-25T10:27:00.001-08:00

"Everything under the sun is meaningless.

Life is meaningless.

Hatred is meaningless.

Enjoyment is meaningless.

Time is meaningless."

While not directly quoted, these are the words of King Solomon, who in his wisdom saw all we hold so dear is in fact, meaningless.

When I first read into Solomon's writing in the bible, I perfectly agreed life was meaningless, and left my thoughts about what he was saying at that. As I read through the book a second time, I realized Solomon had another message- in fact several messages- within his writing, telling us why it mattered to point out "Everything under the sun is meaningless".

Solomon was trying to show how we fuss over objects which will fade from us, and even time, so much it's not only laughable but can change who we are and how we act.

A favorite book of mine, called "The Phantom Toll Booth", explained one of the messages I believe Solomon was trying to get across. In the book, Milo, the main character, came across a city he could not see. In the city were many people, all walking to the places they needed to get to, unable to see the city of even each other. When Milo asked about what he saw (or lack of what he saw, I suppose), a friend told him the people had long ago loved the beautiful city and often spent their time as they walked to their various destinations just looking up at it. But one day, it was discovered you could get where you were going faster by looking down at your shoes. After many years of the people simply staring at the ground, the forgotten, lovely city began to simply become invisible. The people who never looked at each other also became invisible, and no one even noticed, for they were too busy looking at their shoes.

How often when you walk do you look at the ground?

I've caught myself several times.

Part of the beauty of driving, walking, biking, riding, boating, any method of open transportation (as opposed to underground subways and dark trains) is being able to see outside, admire what is around you.

It's quite obvious hurrying, rushing, not taking the time to help those around you, not taking the time to smile and be thankful for your life, is meaningless.

How often do YOU forget how much you get flustered over what is meaningless?

Happy turkey slaughter day!

Rain kisses

2010-11-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

It's 11:25 PM here, in our pretty house, in my warm room, on a Tuesday night. I have school in the morning which I'm not in the least prepared for, and my weeks are getting busier by the days.

But right here, right now, I'm not busy.

Right here, right now, I get to spend my time how I wish curled up in my warm, loving bed, listening to the rain as it falls against the house at the speed the violent winds choose to carry it.

I love rainy nights. I love the rain. I love the way it hits the window and the sound it makes. I love the wet kisses and gentle songs rain whispers.

Rain, to me, symbolizes freedom. As the water gets it's chance to burst from the sky, it's gaining freedom.

Maybe that's why I love the rain.

I turn 15 in five days... That's hard for me to believe. I didn't ever think I would be who I am now when I was little. Didn't dare to believe I could be this content, this busy, or love life this much.

The days get longer with every passing day; always more events to do, my time forever being stolen by those loved ones and fun events around me.

But now, here in the dark, listening to the rain, the night is mine.

Sounds of Sunshine, Sounds of Rain

2010-11-15T14:56:00.001-08:00

cuddled up
in soft clean sheets
by the bed
a bag of treats

noises flow
throughout the house
some are soft
and quiet as a mouse

other noises
cut the air so fast
chiming clocks tell me
it's morning at last

roll out of bed
and give mom a hug
she made me breakfast
and a hot coffee mug

I shuffle to the window
hear my feet on the floor
and I listen outside
for sounds I adore

I cannot see
but I dream in sound
and noises have shapes
some square some round

at the window
I hear thick water drops
they hit the ground
with a "plop plop plop"

I think of the sounds
and from where they came
the sound of Sunshine
and sound of rain

--

An original poem written by me, but based off of a favorite child hood story of mine about a blind child. The story was titled "Sound of Sunshine, sound of rain". It is one of my favorite short stories ever.

Little fly

2010-11-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

Little fly, upon the wall

don't you know that you could fall?

Don't you know that wall's been plastered?

Get off the wall you stupid....

Fly.

Mere Christianity: Chapter 2, Some Objections

2010-10-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

In this chapter Lewis responds to the objections people sent him in response to his views in chapter one.

I will only go over one that stuck out to me, because in my personal opinion it is the most important.

In a letter Lewis got, someone asked why could it not just be the upbringing and education of people which made all humans follow the same behavior rules at heart.

Now, this particular point brought up is part of an age-old argument, Nature verses Nurture. The argument of Nature verses Nurture simply asks if humans act as they do and have the character they do because they were born that way or because they were brought up to be that way.

Lewis's response to this is he believes most people who ask this question make the misunderstanding that everything taught by a parent or teacher is human invention, which is not true. Human invention could easily have been changed one way or another, claims Lewis. Like driving on the left side of the road. Since the rules of the road are human invention, they easily could have been made to drive on the right side of the road (and in some places, they do).

With the Law of Right and Wrong, it cannot be changed. I believe this is the point he is trying to make; but this chapter, filled with metaphors and concepts I had not begun to even think about, took a little more digging to grasp what he was trying to tell me; and thus I may be wrong in my analysis of it.

Another thing Lewis said about morality that struck me as interesting was the idea that some moralities are close to a "True" Morality than others.

As a people, we have a preference to a civilized morality as opposed to a bloody one, therefore we believe ours is more, "right" or "correct".

If we believe one morality can be more "right" than another, then we must be comparing the two to something, something that is ideal and completely "right", a 'True Morality'.

If this 'True Morality' is found within us as humans, and not taught by teachers and parents, then what instills it in us?

A driving question to bounce into chapter 3.

Introduction: Mere Christianity

2010-10-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new section of my blog, 'Mere Christianity', based off the C.S. Lewis book.

Recently I've been struggling with my faith... And it's bothering me. I don't like doubting. I don't like not knowing what I believe and don't believe. But the rationality of a godless mindset makes sense. It really does. At the same time, they're the things rationality does not explain; soul, emotion, how it all began, why things like words hurt us.

Which leads me to the idea of divine power.

Right now I don't know what I believe in. I really, really hate that. However, I'm not an ignorant person; I believe it important to study what you believe, and other things as well. Brain washing yourself into a religion does not show that you "know" what you believe.

I'm not asking for proof, I'm just asking questions.

I talked to mom about this... She said asking questions, doubting, being unsure, wanting answers you cannot find is normal. Healthy, even. And she advised to me this book by C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.

The book is not emotional, it just makes profound statements worth puzzling over and reflecting on.

And so, here we are. Every night I will read one chapter, maybe just a half chapter. I marked all throughout the first one in pen last night; in such cases I don't believe in pencil. You cannot erase your past, so don't erase your past thoughts.

Here, I will do the reflecting. What I read about last night, which I'll be writing about as soon as the intro is done, struck me hard. I had never thought about the point C.S. Lewis had made. I cannot wait to write my opinion of it down.

I will not go back and change anything I write. I may add, but I will not change what is already there. This is my vow; the same with my pen in the book. I refuse to change what I write. A silly vow to some; but it's important to me.

This all being said; I hope you join me on my walk with C.S. Lewis, and truly examine Mere Christianity.

Chapter One

The Right and The Wrong

C.S. Lewis's first point, which dealt nothing with religion at all, was about the underlying agreement between humans about morality.

He called it by many names; Morality, The law of Nature, Right and Wrong, etc.

Lewis states that no matter the culture or even time period, Right and Wrong remain the same. Thievery is wrong, as is murder. Taking something that is not yours or was someone else's first is not "fair".

In the book I argued it did in fact change depending on the culture, but I cannot find a good example to back up my argument. I first thought of the bath houses in Roman culture. Where nudity was openly accepted. That would certainly be considered wrong in this time and culture, wouldn't it?

But then, think to any 21 and up party here in the USA. The clothing is pretty skimpy. Women can walk around beach areas here wearing a string bikini and no one would think anything of it. It's slightly different, yes, and Lewis agrees, but there is not a polar opposite of Right and Wrong in any culture.

The example Lewis argued back to prove his point was war. In what culture was a man who fled from war considered brave?

Not one.

From America today back to the bloody city-state of Sparta, a hero is someone who is brave in the face of death.

Another example he offered was "double crossing those who've been kindest to you". Again, I cannot name a culture this is viewed as Right in.

Therefore, according to Lewis, all people have the same basic idea of 'Right' and 'Wrong'.

This made me think, heavily, about why it is so. Why do all people come down to the same Laws of Nature? Because we are all from the same root, and brought up the same? No; cultures are much too diverse for not to have changed our principles from one another over time.

So then what? A divine force which instills what is Right and Wrong within us?

I cannot say. But, with this question in mind, and a yearn to read more, we come to the end of Chapter One.

Autumn Glory

2010-10-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

First there are the songs of Spring
filled with laughs and love
Later comes the Summer heat
and romance sprinkles from above

Next you walk into Autumn's glory
and the happy songs fade to a whisper
when the trees turn to fireworks
and the air becomes crisper

lastly there's the chill of Winter
that puts the earth to sleep
like the goodbye after the party,
sweet dreams after you've weeped.

But of all the seasons with their styles
I truly do adore
the months of warmth and color
when shades of Autumn roar

The wind is brisk and the sun is bright
the smell of baking miles round
the leaves give off their own light
and whisper that sweet crunching sound

Now it is that time again,
to celebrate the fall
and my how it makes me happy

I was born an Autumn baby after all!

-Juli-Anna Blinsmon

My favorite quote

2010-10-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

A while back I was watching the one, pathetic movie on my ipod, Cat Woman, in the car as we drove to the beach or back or where ever. During one piece of it my favorite character said something so simple, so easy, so basic, that it was complicating.

"If it's broke, fix it"

I can't exactly explain why this quote stuck to me the way it did.

Maybe it's cause I'm a female, and we over complicate everything.

Maybe it's because it was so simple I was taken by surprise.

Regardless of the reason, I love, love, love this quote.

It goes back to being responsible for the actions you take, and mending for yourself what you do not like.

It's a simple principle to follow; and one which sadly gets over looked.

That's all for today folks! I'm going to set up my Mute Monday pictures for tomorrow. (excitement!)

2010-10-04T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hey, hey it's me again

2010-09-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Crazy week! Barely had time for anything!

Hey, hey it's me again

just wanted to say thanks

for being there through joy and pain

you're highest in my ranks

and you know there are songs on the radio

and you come to my mind when they play

my adoration for you continues to grow

with every song, and every day

and I hope you're doing well, my friend

I hope life's treating you fair

I hope you're carried by the whispering wind

and you shrug off life's thousand cares

I miss you much, but it's okay

I know I'll see you soon

I'm waiting to hug you again some day

and laugh with you at the moon

the stars glitter brighter this night

and I wonder if you've seen

no matter how far apart we see the same light

and smile at the same twinkle and gleam

I wrote a song and thought of you

because it made my fingers dance

I love you lots, it's undoubtedly true

would never trade you, not a chance

Juli =)

Three wishes

2010-09-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

I've got, three wishes for ya

I've got, more to say

I've got, three wishes for ya

please don't take our love away

A song, stuck in my head. And I can't remember anything more than the ''three wishes'' part. ^^'

Selfish thoughts and selfless wishes

2010-09-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

I feel so much right now, it's crazy.

I just got off facebook, was reading through a friend's statuses, and realized how hurt he was about the young Mitchell's death.

I hardly know Lexi, much less the rest of the family, and while the story is heartbreaking and I empathize deeply, I cannot begin to imagine how my friend, who was practically in love with that little four year old, feels.

My heart cracked reading the status and comments written by my friend. He's often a shallow, jokey guy; seeing him write from a broken heart was unexpected and worrisome.

It reminds me, again, how selfish I can be in my own wants, seeing others who just wish for the slain lamb* to be alive again.

My grandmother has been is with us this weekend, and it's irritating how much she prattles on and on about her grandson's achievements.

His grades are so good and he's such a mature young adult and he plays the guitar beautifully and he's just so much more grown up than he was a few years ago and he's so soft spirited and so good natured and the list goes on.

It kind of makes me sad, in a selfish way. Why only him? After all the compliments showered on Tim, I remember her telling me at dinner my writing was beautiful.

I nearly choked on my chicken.

I could hardly believe I'd been complimented.

I remember asking her once a few years ago why Tim always got praised. She told me it was because I was so school-smart I could do anything I wanted when I grew up, and Tim didn't need to feel like I was better, so she praised him on everything.

I don't think that's right, to treat one child with more adoration than another so the praised one doesn't feel over shadowed. In fact, I think it just reverses it. She makes me feel like I'm not good enough, not talented enough, don't have the right personality to be treated the same way.

What's worse is even with my mother, who is closer to me than Tim, nothing I do is looked highly upon.

As a writer, everything I show her I write is seen as trash or immensely crude and worthless, if I were to sing she'd say she could do better because she was in a Capella group and explain why I'll never be a singer, if I play the piano and can't get it right after the twentieth time (teehee) the song is old and annoying and she wants me to quit, and if in an argument I'm right I'm told to be quiet.

I know why mom does that. It's because we were into the same things at the same age and I simply am not allowed to win. It turns from being supportive of your child to competing at talent, which I don't look for. I look for opinion, always to be shot down with a cold negative one.

That's been on my mind, all day. But the pain written in facebook and the tragedy remind me again and again it's nothing, nothing in comparison.

I could be dead.

That child never got to test their talents. That child never got to learn his strengths. That child never got to experience a foreign place.

That child never got the chance to fall in love.

Over all, I have nothing to complain about. Nothing can snap one out of a depression like a wake up call such as that.

I will pray tonight. For my friend, for the family, for the child, who met Christ without grasping earthly who he is.

--

*The slain lamb; I did not mean it in any biblical sense. I simply mean something pure and innocent as a young child who's life was stolen from them.

Dying Heart

2010-09-22T16:07:00.000-07:00

Dying Heart

I know a girl

who lived in a thought

and in her house

back in time she was brought

to the most painful place

in her history

the sorrows she's known

are a mystery

as she walks at home

the memories start

she sees her brother

with a dying heart

she cries out

expecting no one

by the end of the evening

her brother's time is done

no matter what

she will not forget

that day or the losses

by that sunset

all of the questions

she has to dart

and all of the memories

bruise her dying heart

Written for Lexi Mitchell- she'll never read this, and that I'm more than thankful for. I hurt for her. I barely know her- and at the same time, I've known her for four years now.

The day was surreal... I'm shocked, to say the least.

not named

2010-09-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

Bouncy feet on lively grass
playful smiles make the day last

a tiny giggle of delight
the air of a child always right

her smiles leave me in a trance
she turns and does a pixie's dance

when she's done she jumps on me
her spirit graceful and carefree

hours pass but we loose track
she shivers and it's time to go back

I pick her up and spin her in air
she squeals and we laugh, without a care

when we're home we cook a blueberry tart
she'll never know her place in my heart

I read her a story before she goes to bed
we read about colors, pink, blue, and red

I turn to leave and she reaches for me
''Goodnight,'' she says, ''I love you mommy''

Gone

2010-09-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

Looking out the window

cup of coffee in hand

playing scenes in her mind

revising her plan

--*

today was the last day

she would give into submission

and today would be the first day

she'd live with her own ambition

her hair fell messily

in front of tired eyes

she had given him her all

she could no longer try

in the dark that night

after she knelt to pray

she packed a solitary bag

for she could not stay...

*The --'s are to separate out the stanzas. Blogger is iffy about doing that.

Mute Monday

2010-09-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Mute Monday*

*Mute Mondays are something done by a lot of bloggers, and it's an image day. I'm an organized person, so my pictures every monday will have a topic. This week was LOLcats because, well, I like I can haz cheezeburger.

Happy Monday!!!

Upon a dream

2010-09-19T19:59:00.001-07:00

My written fairy tale dream- last poem I can get up to night- Lord I am so tired ^^'

I dreamed I was in a windowsill
heard the rush of the sea and felt the cool night's chill

in a glowing white gown trailing down the castle wall
pulled by the wind, daring me to fall

I sat stone still, my eyes on the sea
and the moon's reflection staring back at me

as I gazed out in the silver and blue
across the rippling water came my love so true

walking as those on a sheet of glass
he had come to take me away at last

out of the window I let myself go
down to the arms of my lover below

we walked to a land beyond the sea
laughing with this feeling of "free"

and there we lived, and our love grew
utterly happy, just me and you

Seasonal Paradox

2010-09-19T19:49:00.001-07:00

Pumpkin pie in the middle of June
wonder if it'll be winter soon

On Christmas day I'll be at the beach
eating pineapple, out of the colds reach

On Thanksgiving we'll eat outside in the flowers
we'll spend the day out, talking for hours

reversing the seasons keeps your head in the sky
Don't believe me? Then go on, give it a try!

Chicken Noodle Soup

2010-09-19T19:40:00.000-07:00

I simply can't not put this one up. :)

Chicken Noodle Soup

If you were a kind of soup,
you'd be chicken noodle
and if you were something sweet,
you'd be a warm toaster strudel

if you were an animal,
you'd be a ferocious little kitten*
and if you were a piece of clothing,
you'd be a warm, fuzzy mitten

If you were an emotion,
you'd be passion, fierce and pure
and if you were a medication,
for ever disease you'd be the cure

If you were a type of toy,
you'd be a blanket I could hug
and if you were an addiction,
you'd be the best kind of drug

If you were a genre of music,
you'd be a love song, so dramatic
and if you were a poem,
you'd be flowing and rhythmic

If you were a star,
you'd shine brighter than the sun
and if you were a number,
of course you'd be number one

If you were a source of light,
you'd be a candle freshly lit
and if you were compared to everyone else,
you would be my absolute favorite

Roses ain't red,
I've seen plenty white

and of a violet,
I've not seen the sight

but this is sure, and utterly true,
wrote this poem, thinking of you :)

--

*I wrote this for Josh. I'm not sure how he feels being compared to a playful little kitten. If it's like Annie being a fluffeh bunneh butt, his ego's probably ruined.

The Poet

2010-09-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

The Poet

Once upon a distant time

a poet's heart learned to rhyme

the poet saw what others missed

the heart was gifted, angel kissed

but for a heart to feel it must be bruised

and for the poet this was true

pain and joy battered the heart

leaving trails of words telling the poet's start

he wondered if the cost was worth the gift

and when he doubted his eyes would lift

to the starry heavens, filled with light

and then his face would grow bright

everything happens for a reason, this he did see

sometimes we learn why, or it remains a mystery

Untouched

2010-09-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

The woman fixed the flowers atop the kitchen table, brightening up the house with there radiant color. The fall had stolen the summer colors as it had stolen the heat, and the outer surroundings of the house were bare and cold.

She sat down on a white, painted wooden chair, gazing at the light flowers. She sighed heavily, finding the bare outside to be more closely related to her current life than the bright and happy flowers on the table. Her husband had ignored her for months; they barely spoke, and never touched. She had stopped begging for attention long ago- she was tired of having to ask for it.

Her eyes drifted to the boat sitting alone in the bare yard. That boat, her husbands prized possession, had not been touched in months. The woman felt connected to the boat-both were neglected, untouched. Both had been fun to her husband, and within a few years, both had lost his interest.

A tear rolled down her cheek. How awful it was, to be untouched.

Naive

2010-09-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

Green thorns meet petals red

poison words so slyly said

a false shepard leading trusting sheep

to darker paths, somber and deep

Apples fall from the maiden's lips

princes wither with tentative sips

it's a sad fate for those who're lead astray

decived hearts go cold and fade away

take care my friend, my naive lamb

people want to use you, and believe me, they can.

Who knew?

2010-09-17T03:33:00.000-07:00

Quien saba?

Quien saba como anoche poner fin a?

Yo soprendido.

Quien saba Yo tengo un amigo quien obliga mi a reio tambien?

Yo soprendido.

Quien saba no amo dolo mas than* amo?

Yo soprendido.
--

Last night was crazy.

But hopefully now that it's passed, today will be better :)

Except that I had to get up early and finish homework T.T

*I don't remember ''more than'' anymore. So I used mas than. Teehee.

Written Dreams

2010-09-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

I found an old journal I used for poems today that I hadn't seen in a while. It's full of songs and poems- I typically like to hand write my poems before I type them, because there comes a sense of refreshment and creativity that comes with writing and typing. They're both different rushes, and both I enjoy.

It was so much fun reading back over all that I had forgotten.

My favorite pieces were silly, or dreams that I had somehow managed to put in the form of poetic words. Dreams I had forgotten, and smiled at the memory of.

My dreams are so awful so often that having a good dream is a rare treasure to me. I embrace good dreams.

One of the 'written dream' poems that I wrote was about me being a fairy tale guarded princess and unhappy, when my 'love' came and took me away. I remember now the guy in the dream, and he's certainly not real, just a fairy tale prince, but I still liked the dream. And the poem.

Another favorite was something I can't believe I forgot I had written it. It was written to explain the definitions of ''naive'' in a creative light. Again, done in a fairy tale kind of way, but still fun and got my point across.

The others I didn't remember were songs I had mixed, personalized, redone, written myself, stolen bits of and recreated, etc. I often forget how much I enjoy writing, poetry specifically, and songs.

On the note of writing-

on my laptop I found a story I wrote the first sixteen chapters of a few years back. I deleted many of the chapters I believe, or put them elsewhere, because I can't find them now. What I DID find was a hot and heavy scene that needed a lot of editing. Speaking of which, there's a pass code on that file. Now I remember why.

I'm so dirty minded. It's sad.

I'll upload the poems from my journal, I hope. I don't really know which website to upload to. Pixie Poetry is still up for everyone to see- and this one is not. Pixie Poetry would let me organize it the way I'd want better though. Oh well. As long as I can find what I write, it's all good.

I took the blog off the open web for a few reasons- One being I need a personal online journal. I type so much faster than I write, and it's actually legible when I type. (Teehee) My hands on a keyboard keep up with my brain, something a pencil just has failed to do.

Also, the more I age the harder it is to keep everything I write under a ''pixie'' mind frame. It's a cute cover but it's not completely me.

I need this to be me.

High school is a drama. I'm not sure who all would want to read this blog knowing that for the next four years it's not going to be filled with the creativity that I had when I first started it. Those posts, light and all under one mind frame, are very hard to write, and not satisfying right now. It's my blog it's not like I have to define it in one way, and it's definitely gone onto a different track than the one I first intended it to be.

I like my blog shut off from other people. I like the freedom of knowing I can write anything and everything without the opinions of friends acting as filters to what I say. I hide so much from so many people who are close to me it's ridiculous.

Is that strange? I hide more from those near me than I do from complete strangers. I wouldn't call it an insecurity; no... Everything I do or do not say has a train of thought behind it. There is a method to my madness.

I know it bothers Anna occasionally that she doesn't know everything I think and feel. I know it bothers her that I can tell a lie that I know is so believable she'll fall for it. I've always been the open book- it's gotta suck I don't feel that way now.

But I don't. And I don't think that will change anytime soon. I feel like I have to figure myself out, and all the things I can't explain before going to friends about it. My friends are the same age as me; and most of them don't think like I do. I see no reason to ask for an opinion on a subject I know I'll just get ridiculed for.

Is that really friendship?

Maybe. Maybe not. I think so. If there's someone who you can tell absolutely everything to, holding no opinion, no thought, no sin from, then that's someone you need to MARRY.

Friends are people you can go to for surface level, and not too far under surface level problems. Nothing more than that. At least that's how I see it.

What a confusing post. LOL not like anyone reads it though!

I read a quote from another teenage blogger who I stalk- and I stole her quote. It just seemed so.. true:

"Think you know me? Think again."

How often do I feel that way!

So often friends, peers, people in general make assumptions about my beliefs, opinions, attitude, and feelings and they are flat out wrong.

A lot of people think I'm an open book.

I hide more than the quiet.

Zach thinks I like him (LOL that will never happen)

It couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm believed to be able and willing to beat up anyone.

I'm an animal loving nut ball who is as harmless as a fat baby seal.

Peers think I'm strong.

I'm so easy to hurt.

Think YOU know me? Think again.

-J

Mongi will take over the world some day.

2010-09-07T16:38:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the car one day

as the skies were pouring rain

I saw a woman scurry by

and to myself I wondered why

Under dark clouds in a parking lot

I will admit I gave much thought

to the teenagers who made a run

Their lives seem to have so little fun

watching behind drops coming down

I saw all the hasting in the town

all the girls would shriek and fret

in fear of getting a little wet

you'd think skies would fall and ground would quake

by the all the nonsense these fools would make

over a little water, and though I try

to understand, I just don't see why

Pierced

2010-09-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

Pierced

Every time I see you,

something in me cries

and I see the questions you won't ask,

in those piercing eyes

You don't know I've thought it through,

and you think me so naive

but my friend indeed I have

and so many tears you do not see

I dare not ask for help this time,

I don't believe it fair,

to ask you to listen to my worst problem

when it's alone mine to bear

You've forever been a friend to me

and wiser from the start

you prove it with those inquiring eyes

that hurt like an arrow in my heart

today again I thought it through

when I found myself alone

and with shrugs and sobs I whispered

'how could I have known?'

Do not believe me naive dear friend

Stupid, well that may be

and pray you don't look down on me

for all the tears those eyes don't see.

Changing Heart

2010-08-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am fairly certain no one but Josh can read this anyway. >.>
<.<

School is about to start.

Fuck.

It seems like a week ago I got out of V.A. middle school, and I'm really not all that pleased to think about going to V.A. High- tomorrow.

Ewwww!

Everyone always says high school is fun, is more free, but I know Voyager. I know literally 91 of the hundred kids who are going (myself included in that number) and I know what type of people they are.

Then again-

I've seen friends do complete personality 180's in one summer vacation.... I don't have hope in ALL of the voyager students, but hopefully some will surprise me pleasantly.

On that note.. I wonder how much I've changed?

I feel different. Actually, I feel like I got beaten into the shape people wanted me to be. I don't really like that, nor do I hope it's true and I'm just a drama queen (teehee) but it certainly does feel that way.

It's not a bad ''different''. It's the difference between careless and carefree. The difference between obnoxious and outspoken. The difference between too daring and extreme to fun. the difference between bitching to my friends about my small problems all the damn time to trusting them, but learning not to be so whiny. The difference of feeling flawed all the time to knowing what it feels like to be flawless.

It's a good ''different''.

But it leaves me wondering why do people change the way they do? Is it really the effect of others? Is it hurtful comments, or constant support? Is it maturity?

All of the above?

Who knows. I suppose different situations, environments, time periods and people effect different people different ways.

I like different. Actually, that's the understatement of the year. I LOVE different. It's no secret I like to change things about myself... I enjoy looking in the mirror, and my eyes having to adjust to what they see.

I like feeling like a different person, too. Well- like a better person. Making my heart adjust to what it sees- in my case- is as refreshing as making my eyes adjust to my now rather long hair.

I hope, as a human/pixie/mongoose/etc, I grow and learn and change more in the ways that I have. I'm not the only who is. My best friend changed a lot this summer. I wonder if she feels better too?

I hope so.

--Pixie

(to myself and anyone who ever does lay eyes on this: I'm sorry. What confusing nonsense. Hehe :) But I missed writing on my blog... So my fingers took over and it just comes out the way it does, no?)

Spring Feva

2010-05-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

Kelloggs, myself, and it feels like several people around me are suffering from this deadly disease.

This horrible wretched terrible thing called:

Spring fever.

Around me I have a small group of people who are managing to keep their heads under the pressure of flower blossoms and the warming sun. The rest have gone mad- some have isolated themselves and cut off their friends, others have become completely self absorbed and are quite sure that the sun only comes up for them, others refuse to talk and mope sadly.

Two weeks and all of that will be over- the start of summer for anyone under 18 is always a release from contiunally building pressure until that one day.

I look forward to the break. I miss the rainforest and the sun. I am utterly done with the cold and I'm sick of seeing certain people everyday.

The drama will wind down and people will return to their natural personalities- and all will be well.

The green outside is shining and the blue skies have turned radiant... I do love this time of year :)

Happy Spring!!!!!

Helpless

2010-04-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

Helpless- a word with more power in it than any emotion I've ever felt before. It's a mix of feelings rolled into one- pounded into the shape of the word:

Helplessness.

The definition of Helplessness is this:

1.) unable to help oneself; weak or dependent: a helpless invalid.

2.) deprived of strength or power; powerless; incapacitated: They were helpless with laughter.

3.) affording no help.

I found another definiton that worked for Helplessness as well. Not being able to give help.
On more than one heartbroken occasion I have found myself put in a situation where I could not help someone I loved who was hurting. I could hug them and tell them I love them and wish them the best with all my heart but I could do nothing.

It's frustrating and tear jerking and hair pulling and heartbreaking- wanting with all of one's being to just know that you helped- and having to sit back and let a loved one suffer through alone.

I'm not a savior, I don't feel the need to play the ''hero''. I don't want loads of people coming to me about their problems and whining to me. I'm very good at keeping others at arms length

But when someone I care for needs someone, how can I not feel the desire to be there? It makes me angry and distressed and very worried.

--Pix

For Josh

2010-04-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

He said ''Hey Juli?'' and I said ''yes?'' and he said ''please update your blog''.

So here it goes.

HI JOSH I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Counting Whispers

2010-03-11T01:31:00.000-08:00

Waking up with a start
to the pale moonlight
looked around in the dark
but no one in sight

hugging my legs
listen with care
and counting whispers
everywhere

when love fails
and I need a friend
when the dark is crashing
and troubles don't end

look to the quiet
and look to the night
start counting whispers
it'll be alright

~~~

Quick poem I threw together early in the morning- actually about 4:30 ^^'' woke up sick and a bit lonely- and counting whispers :)

Turning Pages

2010-03-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

I remember quite clearly when I started this blog. I don't remember when I started it- but I do remember sitting in satin pink pajamas on a warm summer night with a laptop at the desk downstairs in my living room and Mayden cooking something utterly amazing ten feet away from me.

I remember picking the name, filling out all of the little details, creating something that would forever be mine.

This book of a pixie's life, holds through out the pages a lot of laughter, a lot of love, a lot of thought, a lot of raw work and simple beauty that comes with it, and a bit of fear as well.

To this day it makes me smile.

However now I'm finding myself, turning pages if you will, starting a new chapter in the book- and it's leaving me empty handed as for this writing.

Most of my feelings, which before were so easy to simply put into worded opinions, now come out in the form of songs and poems more than anything else- ones that make me laugh, make me cry, make me hurt to the point that I go to my knees, and make me smile. I'll start posting them- because I love this blog and don't want it's uses to run dry.

On a different note-

Kelloggs and I are doing just fine, tired of the cold weather and want to go back to the Rainforest for a long vacation. Come end of March and early April we will get our break!

-Pix

A confusing sundry of feelings and thoughts that I can post on my blog because its mine

2009-12-14T18:09:00.000-08:00

I'm really referring to the frightful weather outside... It is really putting a damper on my mood.

Even though I was born in the late fall- November baby- I'm a summer pixie. Cold weather does not suit me well- and while I do love Christmas- who doesn't love Christmas???- I would rather be in Florida on the 25th of December, eating fresh pinapple and opening a few gifts.

This season is a busy one- and its a season of tears for me typically- missing the heat, and coping with the anxious drama that teenagers love to bring at this time of year.

Oh well- this too shall pass, no?

Although the troubles seem so much bigger during the Holidays, I found today that so many people reach out to me when I need it during this time: friends, bloggers, family... all when I need them most.

Kelloggs has a new sibling- a baby brother named Frosty- and they get along fine- tend to fight over dinner, but they are playful young tigers :)

And lastly: It has been a while since I have blogged... days slipped by and this website sat untouched. I have neglected it and quite a few friend's blogs. I apologize sincerely from the bottom of my heart and will do my utmost to get back in the habit of reading and replying to all of you.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!

Desperate housewives

2009-08-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

What I saw today just reminded me of this show- it was truly one of the funniest things I've witnessed for a while.

Mayden was doing her shopping, and I was watching her- I'm still in the Amazon, but I have my ways. Mwahaha. She was just walking through the isles, collecting what she needed on a tighter budget than usual (there ain't nobody in this world who knows how to strike a deal like Mayden). She came to the end of an isle, and looked up to see to women, about her age, talking. Well, more like one was just talking to the other... I'm not sure the other woman was given much of a chance to say more than three words.

The one speaking was short, and loud. heh- as a pixie, I get that. However, I'm nothing like this woman.

She was obviously talking about her husband and some kind of medication he was taking. She talked slowly, loudly, and with the best valley girl voice I have ever heard in my life.

The woman could not have been younger than thirty five, and she was speaking like a fifteen year old girl.

"Well, he totally did not like that, so now we have to like, totally put him on something like, new. So we are gonna like, try this new thing for a while, and see if this one is like, any better."

Oh I wish I could have taped it! Even the way she said it was perfect. But that wasn't all.

The look on Mayden's face was such a 'Shiva' look- it kinda said: "You mere mortals disgust me with your stereotypical behavior. I am not pleased."

It may have been one of those things you had to be there to truly appreciate, but seeing it all was so damn funny to me I was almost in tears.

People wonder why I'm different- this should tell you. I don't believe I have ever seen someone act like that before- well, seriously anyway.

This was the kind of person I look at and am almost positive that the life they live is very much routine- nothing different, keeping up with the styles, and living what most consider 'ordinary', just like a desperate housewife.

How boring.

I'm coming back to NC in a few days time- cutting my stay at home to a shorter amount of time than I would like, but lets face it. NC isn't NC without Da Pixie.

Aiight- I'm out for now. Kelloggs wants some pampering... he's as bad as a house cat- he owns me, and he knows it!

Ummm... hormones?

2009-08-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

The reason I write that as the title is not because I'm emotionally unbalanced- well not most of the time. I have had my breakdowns before. :P

But because I've heard horror stories about what hormones can do to your personality. It seems they can change your personality- either for the better or worse.

Now, my personality is about as complex as the human anatomy. I hold so many opposites in my personality- not differences, complete opposites.

I can be extremely cool, and I have a very passionate spirit. I'm bubbly and spunky most of the time, but I'm a huge drama queen when the feeling compels me to be.

I don't trust people without knowing them a while, and at the same time I forgive anyone easily. A friend of mine said I grew up much to quickly, and would lose a lot because of that- but I know how to live in the moment, and enjoy it.

This was a great deal of the reason I wrote Pop-princess Alley-Cat. I'm very thankful to say I'm not distressed a fraction as much as the tone of the poem. In fact, I'm not really distressed at all. I just never know how to define my personality. Well, besides being fiery. That ones pretty obvious when you talk to me. That and opinionated.

I guess I've always blamed my 'everything' personality on my parents- because they are opposites. But how often do they each pass so many personality traits to their kid?

All in all, I most certainly take after Shiva- but Bace has left his traits in me.

I usually find it a good thing to have this combination though. It helps me make better choices when I'm faced with them, and I can see both sides in a situation.

I fell rather ill last night- must have eaten a bad plant or something in the rainforest... bleh.

I'm 70% percent better today, and Kelloggs watched over me with big, scared eyes. I love my Kelloggs. <3

Maybe in time my personality will become more defined... or maybe I was just born to be an 'everything' person.

Aiight, now I'm gonna go feed Kelloggs and see if the other pixies can come out to play!

-Pix

Shrouded in the Storm

2009-08-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

I am so good with titles, if I do say so myself. Never had a title I didn't like!

When we were at the beach this past week (again) Mayden, or Shiva as she is now better known - yes, I do refer to my dear mother as the Indian Goddess of Destruction- and I went to go see Julie and Julia, along with my grandmother.

It was an adorable movie, completely worth buying, and the best part was of course the main characters' names.

In short, I loved it.

During the movie, we heard the most unbelievable thunder. I swear, the storms at the East Coast are louder than bombs. They are beautiful, but the fact remains if you take that thunder and the constant streaks of lightning, it will indeed start to sound and look like World War II.

The best- and most frightening- part was the drive home. The streets were flooded with up to three feet of water, and Shiva was telling my brother and I sternly that we most never drive in such weather, even though she herself was plowing through the building waters.

One poor woman- very young, no more than 25- was stuck in her Hybrid. Of course, driving in something so low to the ground in that much water is pathetically stupid, but I won't judge- she was stuck in the water, her car was ruined and would need about a three thousand dollar repair, and she was crying her heart out.

I felt terrible for her, but she did have help. A marine who was up to his thighs in water was talking to her, and I was pretty sure they would get her un-stuck.

Doesn't fix the whole three thousand dollar repair problem.....

After that, we only hit one more bad spot. Oddly enough, even though there was less water I would say it was much worse. Shiva's car started to slide, and I felt my heart jump when the car started to slip out of her all-powerful grip.

She did get it back under control, and quickly enough too, but not without leaving me bug eyed for a while.

We finally returned safely home- and the storm rambled on. It was thrilling to listen to- terrifying and beautiful, exciting and unpredictable.

Now, I'm home. Back in the rainforest. I'll be here for a while, two weeks maybe, and then I have to return to Mayden/Shiva/mama's house. It should be a good two weeks! Kelloggs and I are going on a vacation to recover from our vacation, so you can expect to find us just chilling and laying low for a few days.

Sorry I was gone so long- but Da Pixie, is BACK.

A Fairy Tale Week

2009-07-31T13:12:00.000-07:00

Ya know those wonderful days where everything seems to just go right? The kind of day that is always so stereotypical and never happens?I had a week of those completely perfect days.
For the first time in ages it feels like I finally slept in. And, when I did get up, I washed my face and put on my make-up, and did my hair. I sparkled, in my own expert opinion. :P

Not long after I had finished sparkling myself, Josh, my wondiferous friend and I went on a walk. We walked to a pretty lil peer, that looked out over a silver ocean. It was so cloudy, and the earth shrouded itself in a soft gray coat, making everything look gentle. We continued to walk, and Josh found a secret path in the thick trees. Normally, a small Pixie like myself will not explore these mysterious treasures alone. But with my adventurous friend, we set off into the thicket.

The secret opening became a tunneled out path, surrounded by the trees that enclosed its rooftop, and everywhere we looked we saw nought but the faintest light and emerald green.
And the sounds! Water had poured in masses from the skies all day, so as the rain collected and fell from the trees leaves, the sound of trickling water and falling droplets were to be heard everywhere.

We walked along the small dirt path for a while, until light started to brighten through the trees. The two of us raced into the light, eager as ever for the adventure that awaited us. It opened, to my delight and surprise, to another marina, and a neighborhood.

Josh and I were dying to explore the neighborhood, and find out where exactly we were, but we knew my dearest Granny was going to be expecting us home soon.So, vowing to come back we dove back from the depths in which came.

As we walked the fairy tale lane back to our house, a small bee decided it liked Josh's hair, and proceeded to stick its fat butt on the back of his head.I, being the good friend that I am, smacked it out of his hair. This bee was determined though, and kept coming back. It kinda pissed us off.
As we left the area, the bee fell behind. In honor of this bee, we decided to name our secret path, Beeberry Lane.

This path will probably become a story I'll tell my kids some day.

That is a far way off.

Anyway, this was the beginning of my fairy tale week. I guess the next thing I'll skip to is the Hula- dancing.

Ya know, they make it look easy with Snitch on Disney Channel. It really was hard to quickly remember which way you were supposed to walk and the hand motions. However, the Hawaiian woman who was teaching us was so graceful, and she was a wonderful teacher. I don't think I've ever met someone as sweet as she was.And that is saying something, because I know some really sweet people.

The first song was about a Hawaiian tradition, called a Hukilou. (No, I don't have any idea how to really spell that.) It was about how when someone would see that the fish were out that day, everyone in the village would get big nets and cast them out together, and go back to there houses. Later that evening they would go back and check the nets, and if they were loaded with fish, the villagers would all come back, and the entire village would cook the fish and have a party.

After being taught and re-taught the motions, we started to tell the story of the Hokilou with our hands. Even without the lyrics, I think I would've been able ton figure the story out by myself, the motions made it very clear.

The second dance we learned was the dance step most people think of when they think Hula. It was the swaying left and right, and doing that graceful hand motion left and right. This one told less of a story, but I had so much fun learning the both of them.

We danced the night away.

Well, not really. We weren't up that late, its just a lot of fun to write. :P
The next day, we convinced Anna to come with us to Beeberry Lane. Tim could not make it, sadly. When Anna came, we explored much more, seeing the houses and funny little creeks, and even a turtle. Anna spotted the turtle, which she was quite proud of herself for. We moved the tiny turtle out of the street, and nearer to the stream. He was really cute. ^^

We named several creeks and hidden spots. I think Beeberry Lane was my favorite of all the names though. The name sung fairy tale as much as my week did,and it still brings a smile to my face.

Days passed, and many laughs came to the four of us the entire week. It was honestly the best week of my life. I love my friends, and greatly value the time that I get to spend with them, so a week that was as perfect as this was a God given treat. I love you Tim, Josh, and Anna!!!!!

I meant for this post to come weeks earlier than now, but sadly, I got very distracted and it never got finished. That's also why I was able to put more into the first section, and everything else kinda slimmed down.... Oops...

Gone Tomorrow

2009-07-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

If I were gone tomorrow,

you would never know,

the feelings deep inside me,
the just continue to grow.

And if I were gone tomorrow,

you would never see

how much I really love you,

and how dear you are to me.

If I were gone tomorrow,

just flat out disappear,

would you mourn me for a day

or grieve over me for a year?

If I were gone tomorrow,

left without a trace,

would you be my Sherlock Holmes

and jump at the missing case?

If I were gone tomorrow,

because I chose another as a mate

would you realize you loved me,

and woe you were too late?

If I were gone tomorrow,

and returned in a year or two

would things between us feel awkward,

and I'd lose what I have with you?

But I won't be gone tomorrow,

and these answers time will tell

and I can't say how lucky I am

to have a friend I love so well.

Close Encounters of the Scariest Kind

2009-07-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

Today I had a rather terrifying experience, of which the effects have not completely worn off. I had meant for my next blog post to be a happier one, but unfortunately, the words for a happy tale are simply not there.

Now, I suppose to start I should say I'm a fairly young teenager, and apparently to the rest of the world I don't look it. I'm blonde, tall, and as crazy as they come, with blue-ish eyes and dark eyebrows.

Now on with the story.

Today, my brother was getting a new pair of flip flops at a rather large mall. While he and my grandmother went into a Belks for the shoes, my two friends and I went into the Barnes and Noble to wait for them to return.

I immediately split from the group. I wanted to look for a particular book in the romance section that I had picked up the last time I was there, and headed in that direction.

However, before I could make it to the Romance section, I found myself caught in fiction.

While I stood in the row of books, I picked up a few randomly and just fished through the interesting ones. Minding my own business, lost in my world of books.

I heard a female employee coming into my row, and looked up to see her guiding a male to a certain section.

I did not like this male.

He was tall, dressed from head to toe in black clothing, and in his left hand held a black biker helmet. His face was smug, and the charisma around him was thick and dangerous.

Since he was coming through my row, I did what I would do with anyone else, stepped back to give him room to walk, and said politely "excuse me".

He looked at me from my head, drifted his eyes down me to my feet, and back up again. He gave me a smug smile, and continued down the row.

Now, I am not by any means 'flat'. I ain't outstandingly beautiful, but I ain't flat.

I'd seen that look before anyway, but it didn't send chills up my spine the way it did now. I looked in the direction he was going, and immediately turned the opposite way.

I figured it was probably some grungy guy who took up eye candy and wouldn't bother me.

I think differently now.

No matter where I walked, I kept seeing him again. He would just show up in front of me, walk past me, or take an indirect path that would get to me.

Out of fear, and lack of a plan, my immediate reaction was to hide in the open and crowded children's section.

I ran there as quietly as I possibly could, and hid for quite a few minutes. Then, I couldn't see him. I guessed the shark had let the fish slip away, and so I went to find my friends.

But the moment I exited the safety of the children's section, the shark was hungry again, and in pursuit. This time, I was deliberately followed down a row of books, and I ran towards the center of the store.

As I ran to the center, I glanced the cover of a particular book - Close Encounters of The Sexiest Kind, which, changing the word "sexiest" to "scariest" well fit my situation and added to my fear.

The middle of the store was, of course, crowded with people and gleaming with broad daylight, so for the moment I felt safe.

I made my way to the music section, because it was cut off from the actual book store. Standing in the music department, you really couldn't see the book store.

The separation and the thought of blinding my dirty shark waved a small amount of relief on me.

I stayed in the music section until I saw my friends, coming into the center of the book store, the only part I could really see well.

I ran to them, and stuck to them like glue. Not that they could save me when it really boiled down to it, but every little bit helps, and there is safety in numbers.

When I finally returned to my mother's loving arms later that evening, I melt into a puddle and cried. It was one of the scariest things I've ever been through in my entire life.

The relief of being home is washing over me as I speak. I've been gone for an entire week, up at the beach. It was a wonderful week, but now I was ready to come home- home to people who loved me and wouldn't hurt me for the world and could save me from scary people.

Alright, I'm very tired now. BLAH. Today wasn't great, tomorrow will be better, and I thank my two friends for staying with me and probably being the reason I'm alive. Love ya'll!

Wal-Mart

2009-07-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

I know quite a few young children who do this. I also know a few adults who would be willing.

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/friend is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms/tampons and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren’t looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in housewares ….. and see what happens.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

5. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

8. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!”

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

( And last ~ but not least!)

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

<3 <3 <3

Another Quiz - or two!

2009-06-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

This first one was very different from the ones I've previously posted. Very different. The answers are within a cell phone. Okay, here we go.

1. Do you have a camera phone? If so who's the third pic of? I have a camera phone- the third
pic is a negative of a swimming pool.

4. Who's the first person who comes up under the letter m? Marci

5. Who's the last person you called? Why? Mama, I think. I lost her while in the same store.

6. Who was your last missed call from? Why didn't you pick up? Okay, funny story here. Last person was some old lady who keeps mistaking my number. I call her Tanisha whenever I see she called. I was not with my phone, so I missed the call.

7. Who's the 5th person who comes up under C? No one- I only have one C. T_T

8. Who's your speed dial number 2? No one- and if it was, to a chinese take out place.

10. Who was your last received call from? Tanisha

12. What does your banner say? ... uh.... which one? The one in my room?

How many messages are currently in your inbox? 152- It will double in minutes, knowing Marci. -_-'

Whats your wallpaper and why? My friend Hunter sitting in a chair looking at me with a hilarious expression of shock.

15. Who's speed dial number? In my imagination, Chinese Take-Out. ;)

16. What does the 5th message in your inbox say? Ok...im bac srry. Heyyy!!! -Marci

17. Who is the first person under F? Nobody. Wow. I gotta few people who should be!

18. How many bars do you have right now? 3-4: keeps shifting.

19. What service do you have? at and tea.

20. Name every person you have text messages from in your inbox: Way to many to count.

21. Who is the 3rd person under A?Alex

22. Who is the 9th person on your missed calls list? Idk. I keep deleting them. Probably Marci. Or Anna. Or Tanisha.

23. What does the 7th text message say in your inbox? ...you are such a creeper. -Tim

24. who is the first person in your contacts? Abby

25. Who is the last name in your address book: Uncle Joe I LOVE YA, UNCLE JOE!!!!!! :)

I will post the second one later. Right now, its 1:25 in the morning, and this Party Pixie has GOT to SLEEP.

Goodnight, dearest readers!

A Pixie's Tribute

2009-06-25T16:29:00.000-07:00

I can't say as much as I wish I could, simply because I was born in the wrong time era. But I will do my best.

Today, around 12 o clock, the greatest pop star in the world, Michael Jackson, passed away due to a Cardiac Arrest.

I did not cry to see him go, although I dearly loved his music. I was, however, deeply saddened by the death of this fifty year old male who's talent was out of this world.

I was more sad that he did not die with the world supporting him the way they did in his prime. I would hate for my life to end knowing I wasn't as loved as I once was.

Michael Jackson left three kids and a career he was doing his utmost to bring back up. I pray for his children and the hands they will fall into. I also pray people pay a proper respect with the talent and history of Michael. He was probably one of the most- if not the most- famous person in the world.

I was shocked when I heard he was dead. I had pictured Michael Jackson dying at the least twenty years from now, and having completely cleared his name. I wish that was the way it could be.

I wish I had more to say. Besides how much I loved his book, Moonwalk, and practically all of his work, I'm sad to say I know very little about this extremely talented man.

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson.

One fine Day

2009-06-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you have heard the famous verse-

"One fine day in the middle of the night,

two dead boys got up to fight,

back to back they faced each other,

drew their swords and shot the other."

And for those of you who haven't, well, now ya have. :)

Anyway, I knew their was another piece to this, and found the funniest rhymes that made no sense along with them.

The rest of the one above is-

"Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,

I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;

The Admission is free, so pay at the door,

Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight;

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,

A mute man came to shout "Horray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise

and Came to stop those two dead boys

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,

In a two-story house on a vacant lot;

A man with no legs came walking by,

and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,

into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;

The long black hearse came to cart him away,

But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,

The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;

But if you doubt my lies are true,

Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Another I saw was-

Upon a time, upon a stair,

I met a man who wasn't there

He wasn't there again today,

I wish I wish he'd go away.

Another-

Ladies and jelly spoons, hobos and tramps,

Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants,

I stand before you to sit behind you

and tell you something I know nothing of

Next Thursday, which is Valentines Day, the day of love,

There’s a Mother’s Day meeting for fathers only.

Wear your best clothes if you haven’t any.

Please come if you can’t; if you can, don't stay

it ended before it starts anyway.

Admission is free; pay at the door.

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

It makes no difference where you sit;

The man in the gallery’s sure to spit.

The show is over, but before you go,

Let me tell you a story I don’t really know.

That one I edited. A lot didn't rhyme, so I replaced the original lyrics to make it rhyme.

Okay, last one. This one, however DOES make sense and was written by yours truly. It was inspired by my foot surgery, which went very well, but now I am not allowed to move, and I've had to sit still for five hours with my foot above my heart.

Doctor, dear, there's a rule I must bend

you say I cannot walk until WHEN?

I handled the needle, endured the knife

but now to be stuck in this endless strife

I can deal with pain, but must I sit still?

My patience is thin, I'm sick of having to chill

I want to go barefoot in the rain

not sit in a chair, and move with a cane

I limp when I walk, fine with me

but you say I can only move when I pee?

There are no broken bones, so what is the deal

I can only be comfortable when enjoying a meal?

I want to soak my foot in a hot bath

too much longer, someone will feel my wrath

from dearest mother, I get no sympathy

and least with dad, I get empathy

a day, a week, a month, a year

time is now my greatest fear

how long will I be asked to stay

before my my minds goes into a disarray

but, doctor dear, I will do as you say

until you give me the final okay

for then I will run, jump and leap

into a pile of leaves and land in a heap

I know you're just helping me, so I'll sit up straight and smile

simply cause I know, I'll feel okay in a while

I think I'll run soon, just you wait and see

cause nothing can hold down, the great Da Pixie!

Surgery

2009-06-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

Ya know, I've always been told rabbit feet are lucky. Now, I have feet so long you could easily mistake them for being a set of over grown rabbit feet.

So why do I have the worst foot luck?

From ingrown toenails to a freakin' foot virus, I get the absolute WORST of feet problems.

Is it because I wear heels all the time? Because I am simply a blonde who is completely hopeless in life?

I don't know. All I know, (as some old philosopher said) is that I know nothing.

Anyway, this upcoming Tuesday, I have to go to a foot doctor, get a needle thrust through my skin (OOOUUCCCCHHH) and have a spot of my foot cut out. Or, as some call it, surgery.

Shoot me in the face.

Actually, truth be told, I just can't wait for it to be over. I've been having this problem with my foot, a virus you can get called 'Planters Wart' (EW) since, oh, I don't know, JANUARY.

I would have just waved it away months ago with my magic wand, but...

Kelloggs ate my wand.

Freakin tiger.

The Question I ask myself the most

2009-05-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

I am the passionately busy type of person.

I HATE it.

Now, to be fair, I am only passionate about the things that matter to me.

There are a lot of things that matter to me.

Grades, sadly, God designed to be one of them.

I worked all afternoon trying to finish this frickin' frackin' project on Africa. Literally, from three thirty to six, and then stopping only to eat, picked it back up from seven to 9:45.

And I sit there, trying to make sure I can get the possible grade on a project that very clearly is a waste of time, I ask myself the mysterious question:

Why bother?

I have eight days of class left. I passed all my tests and exams with one of the highest grades possible.

And here I sit, fretting about a project due tomorrow for a teacher who doesn't grade half as hard as she should.

I swear I will go gray at a very young age if I keep going the rate I am at.

Lord......

My Background

2009-05-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

A friend (and blogger) helped me get to this website for da background. NIKKI YOU ARE THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE YOU TO DEATH EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NEVER MET YOU.

Thank you!!!!!!

:)

The Merchant's Tale

2009-05-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

When I wrote this poem, I wrote it for a friend of mine. They have already read it and told me they loved it, and if it passes their test, it is certainly fit for my blog. :) Love ya, Josh!!!

The poem is different- in many ways, the poem holds the qualities of my opposite. It is spoken from the stand point of someone much older than me, and who has seen much more. The speaker is male, and has a relaxed personality and a keen eye, which misses neither hidden beauty or grand miracles.

The Merchant's Tale

I traveled the world, long ago
through the colors of autumn to the purest of snow

from the greatest things, to the tiniest leaf
I saw love in a smile and loss in one's grief

I saw an abundance of peace, and years of war
watched life in the world, and heard death's knock on the door

I remember the children, who played in the street
and the pattering sounds of tiny bare feet

I remember laughter, the sound of joy
as a child received a brand new toy

I remember times, gifts, and places
all of the names with the matching faces

I recall the places I wanted to stay
but the merchant's call pulled me away

I regret moving on, and not settling down
or making a home in my favorite town

but with all I have seen, there is little more
that I could ever wish to ask for

Now I sit here, old and frail
recalling on a merchant's tale

and looking back I often see
I truly knew what it meant to be free

My rap song....

2009-05-21T19:29:00.001-07:00

For an assignment in music class, we were told to write a song.

I hate writing songs, which is odd for someone who writes poetry the way I do...

Anywho, I constantly complained to mama about not being good at writing lyrics, and she gave me my subject- "write a song about not being able to write a song" she said.

And so I did.

Now, personally, I am not the biggest fan of my own work, but my family seemed to like it, so I figured it was worth posting! :) Enjoy!

Man, I got dis wack assignment askin' me to write a song

Dude, I ain't got no skill in dat, does that make me wrong

Mama says it's easy, but ya'll know that it ain't

unless you singin' church music, but dude I ain't no saint

Now, I ain't no rappa, or a country gurl

and if you play dem Beetles honey, I am gonna hurl!

Dis lyrics thang is tough, not as easy as it may seem

Man, it took me twenty minutes, just to come up wit dis theme

I just ain't no good at dis, pleaze, give me a break

and let me do something for my age group, lawd, for Peter's sake!

I ain't no song writer, what do you think I do?

Sit in bed and write this stuff from morning to afternoon?

I think about dem singers, T.I, and Little Wane

I don't know how they do it, dis is driving me insane!

I know I ain't cut out for dis, man, it's just to wack

If I did dis for the money, I'd be livin' in a shack

Ya know I'mma little bit ticked, I'm stuck doin' dis

there's a million ways to use my time, way betta than this

I got things to do and see you know I ain't got the time

So what am I doin' here makin' up this rhyme?

It ain't the way I was plannin' to spend my summer day

workin through dis song, in da middle of May

I'm sick of this song, I wanna cry and scream and curse

so I draw dis to an end, dis be my last verse!

The shortest blog post I have EVER written....

2009-05-17T18:55:00.000-07:00

This is a question: leave you answer as a comment!! (Well, DUH, ya'll shoulda been able to figure that one out!

Okay, here is the magical question....

What are ya'lls comfort foods?

Yep.

That's it.

Mine are.... salsa chips and that ready-whip stuff that looks like cool whip but has a cooler can. :)

The Long Way Home

2009-05-14T19:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight was not anything like what I was expecting it to be. My family went to a visitation for my deceased aunt, whom - in the little time I got to know her - I loved. It had been a long time since I had seen my aunt, I barely recognized the beautiful face in the casket, but it was most certainly her. She was my grandfather's sister- I was only related through marriage, but hey, family is family.

It was sad at first- seeing the deceased has always given me a feeling of remorse- whether I knew the dead or not.

We spoke to many relatives, people who's faces where now to me nothing but a blur. I must have heard "She was 'this' short the last time I saw her!" at LEAST five times.

We didn't stay long, but we did drive around the neighborhood. Mama loved the shady, closed off area with the grand, old houses.

The air was warm, very much like the summer nights my brother and I would spend outside playing kickball in the road at nine p.m. in our tucked away neighborhood. The setting, the air, and the people I had seen made me feel very nostalgic.

And at peace.

This week had been rough. School is coming to an end, and teachers are throwing work at us at such a rate it makes me dizzy. I can barely keep up with my assignments, which isn't a good sign for the class rep. :)

But spending those few hours with my family, laughing, sighing, looking back on glory days, and singing to the radio made me realize how much I loved the crazy, weirdo people I live with.

While driving back home, and flipping through the radio when nothing but trash was playing, Mama found a song she liked. It was called "The Long Way Home". It was a very fitting song to the evening we had just had. We didn't just go to the visitation, we spent at least an hour and a half admiring the natural beauty of Spring around us.

I wondered how my aunt would feel- knowing how much laughter and love my parents and I shared on the night of her visitation. She was a smiling, grand woman, so I figured she would have wanted it just like that- people celebrating her life, and the love of family, not grieving over the loss.

Moments like these come in the strangest ways and in the strangest places- sometimes all you need is a good friend to find these moments. Other times, you can find them by yourself. As for me, I tend to realize these moments come to me, when I sit back, and take the long way home.

Different sides... of myself

2009-04-14T05:23:00.000-07:00

Good golly, I haven't posted in ages. -_-' Oops.

Anyway, I've noticed I don't have a really defined personality. How I act pretty much is left to my mood. If I am having a good day, I can be nice about a bunch of stuff: insults, grudges (not that my grudges ever last long anyway) irritating remarks.... (all of these caused by a certain older brother) Still, if it really isn't my day, the tiniest remarks get on my nerves. (I've observed my mother's behavior, and I think this is a woman thing)

But it goes deeper than wounded pride. Some days I'm as passionate as the color red and others, as laid back as the color green.

So how would I be described??? Moody? Bipolar? Lol, I don't know. :)

A Break to the Beach

2009-03-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Mayden is taking me to the beach tommorow, spending the evening with me shopping and what not, and then the abandoning me at my grandmother's house the following day.

I'm half loved, I guess. ;)

It's nice though, getting two days out of school to go to the beach. Howeva, the water is WAY to cold to swim in. Moving topics all together, I have found a Internet obsession.

It is called Facebook.

But I swear to use it I need a freakin' manual!!!! Nothing makes any since!!!!!!!!!

I've played plenty of on-line games and chats which were very easy to use. Gaia Online? Easy. IMVU? Easier. Blogger? Easiest of all. Facebook? Shoot me in the head. -_-'

Maybe it's because I'm the type of person who when machines don't do what I want them to do,
I just kick it really hard. Take my advice, it doesn't work.

I'll figure it out, eventually.... but if anyone is willing to send me a manual, I'd appreciate it. ;)

A cute waiter, an awesome cook, and shattered glass

2009-03-08T07:03:00.001-07:00

Actually, that sums up this whole post in a nutshell. But I'll give a little more explanation.

Mama, dad, my brother and I were going out to this really good Japanese restaurant two nights ago. In this restaurant, all the food is cooked in front of you, and the cooks add in a few tricks to make it all the more entertaining. I. Freakin'. Adore. It.

We got a lot of food that night, sushi, salad, soup, shrimp, chicken, rice, steamed veggies, and steak. The chicken was tender, the steak was juicy, and don't even get me started on the shrimp and sushi.

Mouth waterin' yet?

Over all, we order enough food to happily feed eight people. No problem. I figured I'd just eat the rest for lunch the next day. ;)

Along with the awesome food, we had a really cute, really nice waiter. Mama and I were impressed. We do enjoy good waiters. So, the whole process started normally. He asked us what we wanted to drink and if we wanted any sushi.

Since dad was driving, mama got a martini (and a diet coke). Mayden sure does love a martini with sushi. Personally, I'm quite a happy with the strange, water-and-tea leaves-drink you call sweet tea. Pixies do like sweet stuff. ;)

We got our sushi and drinks not long before the chef came out. I remember Mama trying to take her glass of diet coke so the waiter wouldn't have to reach to put it in front of her. However, he told us the reason waiters put down glasses was to prevent accidents. Mama laughed and said she understood. We tore through the sushi. It was fabulous. Hmm... now I'm hungry. I wonder if I have any chicken left over...?

Anyhow, the food was maybe half way done, with the chicken, the steak, and the shrimp cooking. Mama had finished her diet coke. When the waiter brought her a new one, he accidentally hit the martini glass and, on impact from toppling over, it shattered on the heated-oven-slate thing.

They had to take mama's food, almost my food (I had to convince them there wasn't glass in my direction) and all the food on the over-slate-thing. It was like three pounds of chicken, two pounds of steak, and just a lot of shrimp. I sat there, watching pounds of almost completely cooked food be carried away when it was practically harmless.

I almost cried.

All in all, it wasn't too bad, the food was all re-cooked, but I still thought that all that delicious food was wasted... *sob*

Oh well. After it was all over, I got a strawberry short cake in a shot glass. And, like everything else there, it was the best I'd ever tasted.

Alright, ya'll have your story, now I wanna go eat. ;)

Hurt

2009-03-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

I know I just left a post, but...
I'm a little upset right now, I get this feeling one of my frinds is angry with me, and I don't know why. She is just being kinda... snide, I guess. I don't think I did anything wrong... I haven't seen her since Friday... I wonder if she's mad at me?Oh well. I hope she's isn't mad...(A slightly worried) Pix-

Funny Forwards

2009-03-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

I have some crazy friends who like to send me all kinds of forwards. Some of them are funny, so I just a figured I'd share them with ya'll!

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers ... and then there are educators

Another Forward... A rather random quiz which has my answers in it.... -_-'

Do you like pandas? - Yes- Unless it is mistaking me for bamboo. ;)
How many puzzles have you done in your whole life? - Do you really think I'm pathetic enough to know? How many breathes of air have you taken in your whole life?
Where would you rather live: Africa or India? - Africa- generally cleaner, and warmer
How many asian friends do you have? - ummm..... more than one?
Do you miss someone who you cannot see? Who? - Little more deatil here sweetie. They dead, or just out of the state, or in space, or from another planet?
How many text messages are in your inbox? -none right now- wait until I have unlimited texting! ;)
How many of the opposite gender did you talk to today? - 2, my dad, and then my brother
Who was the last person that poked you? - me.... ironically
Who was the last person that you took a picture with? - uuummmmm... mother nature?
Do you like gloomy bear? - ... What did you just call me?
What's your opinion about "Fall Out Boy" the band? - I don't care to much for them...
How often do you eat instant noodles? - Too often
Who is your most hated teacher? - ***. ******** I refuse to say the name...
Would you be willing to say a poem in the Talent Show? - Sure, millions of people listening to me don't bother me at all.
What's up? - heaven, I suppose
What's your favorite flavor of jello? - I wuvs them all
Do you prefer Bebo or Piczo? - WHO?
Who's your best friend today? - concealer... my eyes look terrible. Or Scout ;)
How many people are you talking to on Instant Messenger? - no one... I'm doing this quiz
Do you eat beef? - Pixie's are carnivores.. leave it at that
Apple or Microsoft? - mmm.. have a Microscope, love apple
Do you think Nike is expensive? - not as expenisve as, say, GUCCI
Is your sibling fat? - if don't quit eating all those cheesey poppers, he WILL BE!
What's your favorite number? - 0

This one is pretty funny- these are real answers on real products

In Honour of Stupid People . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) 'Do not turn upside down.' (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Warning: contains nuts.' (talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- 'Product will be hot after heating.' (...and you thought????...)

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (But that's the only time I dry my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- 'Directions: Use like regular soap.' (and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.' (but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- 'Do not iron clothes on body.' (but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.' (..I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' (as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- 'Not to be used for the other use.' (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.' (Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.' (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.' (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Alright... That's enough... for now. ;)

The color of character

2009-02-25T15:14:00.000-08:00

Don't you just love that title? It just rings so nicely...

But to get on with the actual point of it, I'm very proud to say I've taken quite a few 'Color Quizs' in my semi-short life. I often got the color orange or red. However, my favorite color was blue. It was just so calm and collected a color. I didn't like the color orange, and didn't have any feelings for red at all.

Until these recent months, that is.

Not long ago I realized how much I absolutely adored orange. Mayden had some Crazy Daisies on the counter, and I was very drawn to the orange ones, although the electric blue ones in there would have been usually my favorite. And it made me think:
I've always been an 'orange'. But what I wanted to be was a 'blue'. I always wished I had a more settled personality, one where I was less likely to trip over a flat surface and I wouldn't blurt out something without actually thinking what I was saying.

However, recently I began to like my outlandish personality, because I wasn't bound by own rule to play it cool, and I certaintly wasn't shy. I became more comfortable with who I was, and gradually began to accept the color orange.

My best friend has always been comfortable with herself. She's a happy, bubbly, suck-it-up-and-smile kind of person who was very good at resolving conflicts. She matched the color yellow, and it happens to be her favorite color.

My mom? No expaining her. Mayden is different depending on the atmosphere. If she is fired up like she normally is, I'd call her a red. When she is writing all her inspirational stuff, she's closer to a blue. I don't know. My mom is just a freak of nature! ;)

So, what color are you? What color should you be? If you turn out being orange, more power to ya!

Another Quiz I stole from a friend who stole it from another friend

2009-02-24T14:17:00.000-08:00

Did that title make any sense? No? My (un)sincere apologies. ^_^
Anywho, here is the random little quiz which I had some trouble seperating the questions from the answers. Scout, you make my life SO hard. Thanks for the quiz!

Who would you be in a band? Singer? Guitarist? Drummer? Manager? Guitarist all the way. But what's even better, is being the screaming fan!
Oreos: Original? Double Stuffed? White Fudge Covered? Original. I know, I'm just so boring, but I like the kind that won't give me diabetes.
How do you eat Oreos? I eat the whole cookie. I don't pry it apart. Imma sandwhich gal.
Fav kind of pancakes? Ones without the butter.
Last person you hugged? my mama. I luv u mama!!!
Do you put half eaten Chocolates back in the box? yep. Not one to gorge chocolate at one time.
What's your Green Kryptonite (weakness/destroys you)? Spiders and animals that squish lil Pixie's like me.
How bout Red Kryptonite (makes you crazy)? Liars
Scared at the sight of blood? Not at all. I'm not "Faint of heart"
What's in your back pack? Stuff.
Something your parents always tell you to do? say "yes ma'am"
If u were Queen, what would your crown be made of? Mirrors. Don't ask me why, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You are still Queen. What national holiday would you declare? national Pixie Day
Do you have an enemy? That depends. Am I still a queen?
Do you drink the milk left over in cereal? I don't eat cereal. All it is is pencil shavings
What kind of dancing to you like? Ones that don't require memorizing steps. Just go with the flow!
One cool thing that you can do? Poof myself into being 5 feet some inches tall.
What scares you about the future? Nothing really. Whether I have a bright future or it's gonna be a living hell, I'll face it with a smile. (Of course, it won't be a living hell 'cause I'm so brilliant nothing can drag me down for to long!)

Alllrighty then! There you have it!
Another Quiz by-

Pixie Productions

A Family Obsession...

2009-02-15T09:01:00.000-08:00

Those of you out there who know me well, are aware or the fact I hate television. Don't ask me why; T.V. is one of things I just can't do.

However, there are a few exceptions.

Thanks to a friend my family began to watch a show called 'Lost'. The story line went as a plane that crashed into a seemingly unpopulated island with no radio, little food, and no help. Luckly, one of the main characters, Jack, is a doctor, and some medical supplies did wash up on shore. As the story continues, you find out there are people on the island already which our group calls the 'Others'. The 'Others' takes kids and some other people from our group, dragging them into the forest.

I. Freakin'. Love It.

So, here I am, sitting in my Pajamas at the desk typing away while my family sits toen feet away watching season three of the greatest show ever.

Basketball season is over, I'll have more time to blog. Finally. But right now, I have a show calling me to come watch it.

Sometimes... Life is Crap

2009-01-30T15:42:00.000-08:00

My basketball coach resigned today. I was... well, quite frankly I was shocked and hurt. The other girls either felt the same way I did, or were angry. It was rough for all of us.

It certainly wasn't something I was expecting. Coach had said he enjoyed teaching us more than any other team he had coached. He said he had gained 11 other daughters. I would have never thought he would leave.

While this was in no way what I would have expected, I don't blame him. For the past two seasons, he coached us well, and the stress has to be worse for the Coach than it is for the players.

We played today with our assistant coach, and it was a very close game. We lost by a point in the very end of the game. Still, even if we had won, I doubt the usual enthusiasm would have been there.

I guess I'll learn to get over it, but I do really miss Coach. I don't think I'll play next year but who knows? Maybe I'll give the next "Coach" a shot!

And Thus, the next chapter of my LIFE begins

2009-01-28T15:40:00.000-08:00

Basketball season is slowly dwindling to a end. And, while I wuvs it with all my heart, I cannot say I'm not ready for the aching legs and tight schedule to leave. Ahhh...
My school is getting revenge on me for my constant lack of fundraising participation. I never did the fundraisers, or go to the school dances, or bother to really put in the effort that some kids do to help the school outside of class. (But see, I don't have to. Thats why those other kids are there.) However, school must have figured it was about time they dump a load of crap on me. The next two weeks ought to be very tight, so when you log on to my blog and this is the newest post you see, just sit down and pray for me! :)
I've been assigned to write a speech for my school's dedication ceremony, and I have to get up there on the pedestal and read it off to my whole school.

I didn't choose this, my teachers caught me in a spider's web.

I'm also the President of the new Spanish club at school, so it's quite a hassle trying to get it started.
Mixing all of this in with being a representative and a basketball player, it gets a bit over-whelming sometimes. I think Ill start carrying a case of Advil with me! :)

After the next month, things will settle down. I long for March!

Have a good one, ya'll!

Now, I better go brush up on my Spanish...

A random quiz I stole from a friend

2009-01-21T06:29:00.000-08:00

It looked fairly interesting, I've seen three people who have posted it, so I thought, 'what the heck'. It's fairly random...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Jules, Pixie, Pixster (Thanks Skunkfeathers!)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD: Da Pixie, Blaze0332, Julie

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES: Wrote this, ate breakfast, got tangled up in Pixie-mode in a giant quilt

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: my eyes, my ability to argue, my flat stomach. (Hey, it's true! ^_^)

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: my bad eyesight, (I'm practically blind) how slowly my hair grows, and how easily I get cold

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS: Pixian, elvish, and a touch alienese

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF: spiders, (UGH) throwing up and being smacked by 6 foot waves

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: slippers, earrings, and some really fuzzy purple pants

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: washing my face, taking a shower, sassing off to my brother (tee hee)

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS: My contacts, my magic wand, Kelloggs

THREE OF YOUR ARTISTS: Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Carrie Underwood

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY: Be clean, be warm, eat

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: Beautiful Liar, Fireflies, and Migrate

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: acting, bungee-jumping, tiger-back riding

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET: Nothing. I regret nothing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: love, laughter, smiles

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE GIVEN TO THE WORLD: my time, my expert opinion, my voice

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order): I've been bit by a spider, I've been bit by a snake, I've been bit by a chinchilla.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: The way they don't drag out fights, the way that they don't let little things bother them, how they make themselves comfortable everywhere they go.

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: The things they laugh at, the way they look when they are affected by someone, the simplicity of their mind set

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: walk out of the house without any makeup, (It's impossible.) hurt a cat, make the majority of my free throw shots

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST: The way I was satisfied with everything simply being everything, long hair that actually looked good on me, and nap time from kindergarten.

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE: some Ipod speakers, a puppy who would get along with Kelloggs, and another ankle bracelet (just part of a pixie's style!)

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE: My name, my friends, my family

THREE OF YOU YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES: drink hot tea, sleeping curled up next to Kelloggs, reading Skunkfeathers' posts!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Drink hot tea, sleep curled up next to Kelloggs, read Skunkfeathers' posts! ^_^

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: Brain surgeon, optic surgeon, neurologist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION: Carribean, Spain, Tokyo/Kyoto

THREE CARTOON/TV CHARACTERS: Buggs Bunny, Sonic the Hedgehog, Naruto

THREE BOY’S NAMES: Nick, Michael, Caleb

THREE GIRL'S NAMES: Julianna, Jordan, Aria

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: see the Northern lights, milk a cow, make a exotic dish

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ OR DIE PAINFULLY: Anna, Anna, and Anna

THREE THINGS THAT PISS YOU OFF: when people don't listens to me, disrespect, stupid people

This funny white substance we call: Snow

2009-01-20T09:39:00.000-08:00

You see, down in Carolina where Mama Mayden lives, there is hardly ever any snow. We see it maybe three times a year and it's just a snow-flurry. So when the weather forcast predicted 2-4 inches of snow, I dare say many of us laughed and mocked them. But, sure enough, I awake at 6:40 in the morning to see a LOT of snow on the ground. I was so stunned I sub-consioulsy shrank back to 6 inches tall and fell on the windowsill.

It was beautiful.

By 9:00, my brother and I -finally back in 5ft 7inches- were waltzing out to a pond way back in our yard. We broke the ice over the pond, made snow angels, and had a major snow ball fight. I am disappointed to annouce my brother-who isn't a pixie- creamed his poor lil' sista. I'm happy, though, to say I did get the chance to annoy him to no end!

As the snow ball fight came to an end, I found myself realizing the pond which I was in front of was a place my brother and I always went when it snowed or the temperatures got below freezing. Not very many other people had seen it, so it was our secret place to be a dare-devil and not listen to your parents. It was the kind of place I knew in twenty years I would be looking back on, and remembering the fun Tim and I use to have. I smiled, because it was really cool to know there really was a place that held some memories with quirky older brother.

Now, that being said, I think I need a cup of hot chocolate and warm up my frozen wings!

I'm Sorry!!!

2009-01-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

It's been WAY to long since I've blogged. I'm sorry! The second quarter of school is over, and it got very tight near the end. I was just to tired to do anything- email, blog, comment, etc. I'll work to pick up the pace again! Pixie life is winding down now, so not much has been going on recently. Well, besides a certain knee problem I'm having. I have a common problem for young teens and athletes called patella femoral syndrome. It makes running, bending my leg, and climbing up stairs rather painful. It doesn't need surgery, just to be stretched regularly. Heh. I'll live. I'm also updatin' my poetry blog- I finally got past the writer's block I've been in! Hallelujah! ^_^

Back at it again

2009-01-03T11:26:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Da rain forest, and here for a good long time. People are asking about New Year resolutions, and I always have one. The same one every year: survive the next 365 days.

In all honesty, I've never really saw the New Year as 'A new beginning' or 'a chance to do it over again'. Nope, to me January first of 2009 was simply another day. I'm going back to life I was living in 2008, (which is just fine with me, Obama's "we need change" statement didn't apply to me) dealing with the same people and the same issues as before. Heck, the only thing I'm changing this year is possibly my hair color, and I do that every few months!

However, to go with the American fashion, I think I'll name some resolutions I would have for this year:

1: Come up with a new Pixie-wand technique which will allow pigs to fly.

2: Go to Japan.

3: build the most environmental hazard car just to tick of liberals.

4: slam dunk a basketball in a ten-foot goal at my original 6 inch height.

5: skydive 2,000 feet out of a jet over Indiana.

Alright, that sounds outrageous enough! ^_^

X-mas count down

2008-12-22T09:53:00.001-08:00

X-mas is just five days away!!! Sadly, like every year, I will be dragged out of the Amazon to help with Christmas hassle. However, I am enjoying my little time left in the rain forest.
The one thing I am truly looking forward to this Christmas is seeing my baby cousins. In particular, the one female cousin I have, Kaitlyn. That child is absolutely adorable!
For many years, I was the only female in the family (Cousin wise. Aunts not included). Which meant when my brother and I went to baby-sit, I was going to have to rough house and sling kids around like a guy. It was fun, and I love those boys, but it was very tiring. So you can imagine my absolute delight when Kaitlyn came along.

However, Kaitlyn is just as tiring to play with as the guys. She is convinced she is Batman, and loves to tackle me and get slung around as much as the boys. Hee hee. I love her anyway.

Part of what makes Kaitlyn so lovable -well, to me anyway- is the way she gets around my brother. She -this is a three year old, keep in mind- has only two things to say regarding him. They are:

"He's silly."

Or:

"He makes me feel uncomfortable."

My brother had just said hello to her and she immediately disliked him. So when we babysit her and her little brother, she'll crawl up on the arm of the chair I'm sitting in, and will just tell me, "He makes me feel uncomfortable." I crack up every time she says it. It's too funny.

Anyway, Christmas countdown: day 5.

Back Home

2008-12-18T17:58:00.000-08:00

I'mma back in the rainforest, and got a warm, wet welcome-home kiss from Kelloggs. He passes

one to ya'll as well. I promised a postcard, and a postcard came. I got it off of google, give them credit, but we will just pretend I poofed it from my camera to my laptop, ok?

I have some pics of Kelloggs too. However, at Mama Mayden's house, he takes the form of a stuffed animal, so when you see a cute little white tiger-cublookin' thing, he's just been poofed to a more acceptable size.

(Government has some... problems with white tigers living in ********. Screw 'em.)

I'll send some pics of him in his cute, stuffed animal form soon. Ack. Now he's hungry. Gotta go feed meh pet!

The cubs are his relatives, some way, some form. They were just so adorable I had to post 'em!

Merry Christmas!!!!!

My 20th post

2008-12-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

*Sniff* it was like I made Da Pixie Pages just yesterday. They grow up so fast!

Well, I don't have a whole lot to say, but I wish everyone who reads this a God-blessed day. Time is slipping away from me alarmingly fast, but soon Christmas will be here and all will be well.

Lets see.... Oh! I do have a story to tell!

I've been up since 4:20 AM. I'm staying with Mama Mayden, (going back to the rainforest on Friday, I'll send a post card) and last night- or more like early this morning- my fire alarm began to chirp. Every five seconds, it would let out one VERY loud, clear chirp. I had absolutely no idea how to get it to shut up. I put my Pixie wings to work, and flew around it for thirty seconds, trying to figure out what's wrong.

I failed miserably.

I didn't want to go wake up Mama Mayden or Bace -Mayden's man- so I went down stairs and poofed five feet five so I could use the keyboard on the computer.

I could hear the thing down there.

Eventually, I got bored of the computer, so I went back upstairs and listened to a CD until 6:40, when I usually got up to get ready for school.

By that time, I wanted to poof up a AK-47 and shoot it. I refrained myself, and later asked Bace what was wrong with it. His answer: the battery was dead.

I lost hours of sleep because THE BATTERY WAS DEAD.

I really am blonde to the roots...

Oh well. Happy 20th post!!!!

Stupid People

2008-12-13T08:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know it's rude to talk about someone behind there back, and I know I just left a post and thirty minutes later I'm writing another. Sue me.

Anyway, I was flippin' through some blogs lookin' for something to comment on.

And then I found her.

This girl was crackin' me up. All she talked about on her blog was guys. And her writing was atrocious. She misspelled something every other sentence, and repeated words in the sentence so it didn't make any sense what so ever. I was absolutely dying as I read the posts, it was just to funny.

And I wondered, 'how can someone have such a pathetic and stupid obsession?' Now, I ain't got nothin' against dating, but for your whole life to be revolved around the opposite gender seems silly to me.

This girl was also pretty full of herself. She very plainly said, '"Everyone loves me".
???? Yeah, you are real modest aren't cha, sweetie? I found her extremely amusing, but I feel almost sorry for her. She has got to be blonde, and have an IQ level about forty points below standard.

I know I'm mean, but being blunt is part of my character. (Sorry Skunkfeathers, I'm not politically correct ;)!)

It's kinda sad to see how brain washed girls in America are. I bet you could name a few people just like this girl.

I'm not real worried about her findin' me; I didn't comment on her page, but I could care less if she did. Let her see what people think when they read this without knowing her personally.

Oh lord, what is the Earth comin' to...

The Magic of Make-up

2008-12-13T07:51:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know my male reader are already looking at the title and thinking: Cosmetics? Oh joy....

Sorry guys. Just bare with me, here.

I've looked in the mirror some mornings and have quite literally thought 'If looks could kill, I'd be worse then Hitler'.
Which brings me to my main subject: cosmetics.

Of course, Pixies don't use the same kind of stuff as you regular, boring Americans. However, Hollywood doesn't have the right idea either. We don't do all the glitzy, bright crap- except on national pixie day, April 21- but we definitely don't go through all the messy powders that make you feel contaminated when you load it onto your face.

Nope- we use our pretty little wands. It takes two seconds and... POOF. Water/fire/tiger/death/fat foods/magic/little kids/stress proof makeup. I ADORE the stuff!
But you know, why does appearance matter so much? And why do women in particular care? Sometimes, I seriously wish I was a guy, just so I could walk outside without brushing my hair.

Oh well. There are benefits to it!
Some people say cosmetics are a complete waste of time, but I think those people just haven't seen the light. The stuff- even you human's pathetic kind- can hide almost every single flaw. So why not? It ain't like once you put it on it's not ever comin' off. Jeez, just takes a little soap....

Anywho, whoop to cosmetics. Shall you reign forever!

Another one of my amazing light-bulb thoughts...

2008-12-11T14:56:00.001-08:00

Okay, so ya'll all know I play basketball. And for a pixie my size, that's pretty difficult. So, I poof my magic wand to be about five foot five.

However, my coordinance doesn't get much better.

I'm not the best player on the team. Not the worst, but not the best.
Anywho, we're playin a game tonight, and the effort for our team simply isn't there. I mean, I've seen them play HARD. We could have won.
Well, we are down 15 points and coach puts Da Pixie in the game. I didn't play long, but I played hard. By the time the game was over, we had lost and I had played twice.

And then I realized something:

A week from now, I won't remember the score. I'll just remember I played. I'll remember the way it feels to have push some girl out of the box so I can get the rebound. I'll remember the fierce way I felt.

And the score suddenly wasn't important.
The best players on the team were upset that we didn't win. And, sure, it would have been nice to win, but they play for almost the whole game. They got nothin' to whine about.

Coach always tells us, "You gotta want that ball". In truth though, I don't want the ball, I want to run up and down a court for six minutes and play defense the way I know I can.
I know I'll get better. I know if I work hard enough I'll be a starter. I know I could really do well in this sport.

That is, of course, as long as no one spills about the Pixie Magic... ;)

Mistakes

2008-12-07T14:15:00.000-08:00

I gotta poem called that on Pixie Poetry, and I guess I've made a few bad ones recently. Even if my writing is cool and collected, I lose myself to anger and pride easily.

Even if it makes NO SENSE.
I tend to lash out against the people I care about most- Mama, my best friend (I really owe her a lot of apologies. Sorry!) and my brother. I'm not always good at correcting my mistakes, either. I'm rather proud, humbling myself to make a decent apology is one of the most difficult things for me to do.

I hope it's something I'll learn to get better at.

I am of the female kind, and I do get really bad hormones. But I don't go from really happy to angry to happy again. No I get angry, then depressed, then stay that way for a friggin' week. I think I want a therapist. -_-'

I wish I knew everything- how people would respond to my actions, the best way to control myself, if I ought to be on medication for the hormones, etc. Okay, screw the meds. I'm not that crazed.

Whenever I get like this, I feel like going to sleep and jsut staying in that closed, safe inprisonment for as long as I felt it was needed. I feel like enabling myself from making it better.

Is anyone around me like that? If you are, do tell. I'd LOVE to know I ain't alone... -_-'

Ahhh.... I feel better when I write. Guess I got that from Mama Mayden as well!

This week shouldn't be as hard as last week. For some reason, I feel raw. Like I've been stabbed at all week and now I'm just starting to heal.

Oh, Christmas break can't get here soon enough...

Tis the season... to panic

2008-12-06T09:38:00.000-08:00

You know, when most people -no, when most men- think of Christmas time, they probably see snow and fires in fireplaces and happy, giddy elves with Santa.

I -and probably quite a few women- don't really see that.

Nope, I see the best bargains for Christmas gifts, the rushes to shop before the children's department in Wal-Mart runs out, organizing the Christmas party.

It's the most stressful time of the whole year.

It's more difficult for our HUGE family than it is for most, what with six children and four of them having children, the majority between the ages of one and six.

Last year the Christmas party was hosted and Mama Mayden's house, and of course I was dragged out of the Amazon to help the head hostess. I didn't really mind, but there was definitely one person I didn't really want to see.

A particular family member, closer to me in age, and not someone I'm all together fond of. It sucked having to smile my perfect-pixie smile and treat him nicely. I wanted to whip out my wand and turn him into a toad. Maybe feed him to Kelloggs. =)

As I did my best to deal with little children and help Mama Mayden at the same time, I realized something:

Men could never handle the crap women put up with. Not the stress. Or the decision making for gifts. Or handling five little kids who want to jump on you and pull your wings out. And ESPECIALLY the cooking.

I'm not sexist, I also realized women put this upon themselves for years. Women always cooked and cleaned and dealt with the kids. I guess we are at fault.

Guys, this year, ya'll betta kiss your wife or your mama on the cheek and tell her that your thankful for the stress she's going to go through.

And apologize for the fact that she will probably go prematurely gray. ;)

*Sigh* Panic time starts now. And probably won't be over until January.

Then we will need a full year to recover, and do it all again.

Rockin' In The Rainforest

2008-11-29T11:07:00.000-08:00

I know you are all curious about my home, what a Pixie's house looks like, how tall my house is, etc.
Now, all of your questions shall be fully answered.

My house is very small; the abandoned room in a tree used once by a owl. It's such a cute little place! The inside of my tree is very special; it has three emergency exits and a little fire place, just perfect for someone six inches tall! I have a tiny bed made out of banana leaves and moss. The walls are all dark, sprayed with purple streaks (I had a berry accident a while back. A rather gruesome and intriguing story). I have a pet as well, although he's about fifty times bigger than I am. I suppose I am more his Pixie than he is my pet. He is a tiger, about 530 pounds. (I weigh about two ounces and have a dress size of negative 8.) His name is Kelloggs, although I positively HATE cereal. My best friend, who is actually an alien, has a brother who very strongly suggested the name. I agreed it was simple and as unusual as I myself am, and Kelloggs was his name.

Kelloggs lives under a large bush near my special tree house. I tried to shove him into the tree house, but his massive head alone got stuck. That took a lot of soap to "slip" out of that situation.

I'm not home too often. Mayden's cooking always drags me back to North America, but if you try her Thai food, you wouldn't blame me. And do know just how bad the internet connection is in the Amazon? Probably the rain's fault...

Okay, any more questions? Just ask!

-Pixie

Disaster Strikes

2008-11-28T13:43:00.000-08:00

I'm at a friends house right now, Mama Mayden abandoned me...

and I've got a cold.

Do you know how much it sucks to be sick at a friend's house? UGH. I'm actually really good at hiding it, and it's more allergies and crap then sickly-ness. If it gets worse while I'm here I swear I will sue. And sue HARD. Oh well...

My Thanksgiving went well, just Mama Mayden and me chillin' out, cooking turkey and playing games on the computer. We stayed up until twelve last night watching people jump off Niagra Falls thinking they would make it out alive (?!) and some of them meeting there quick and painful doom. I will never understand why people feel compelled to do such things, I personally believe it's a brain disorder...

My Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T12:30:00.000-08:00

It is gonna be bangin'! My brother and dad left for the beach, so it's me and Mama Mayden here. We decided to kick back and have some Mayden-Pixie time, and when you put to blonds and some sushi in the same room, there's gonna be a par-tay.

Our day went something like this:

We ventured out to Staples to get all the Nick knacks that my strange little family needed, and then hit the mall. I got my ears pierced-again- and mama got some new earrings herself. Afterwords we headed into this shoe store and lemme tell ya, the heels in that place were two and a half inches tall and about as thick as a five year old's pinkie finger. I was twisting my ankle just looking at them. I will never understand why people will buy bubblegum pink and mint green plaid heels which could send someone to there death. What's more, I can't understand why they wear it.

But enough about the stupidity of man kind and shoes that only should be used for scrubbing toilets. After we left the mall, we drove down to a Mt. Fuji's near by. We got three or four packs sushi and decided to simply eat it at home. Final stop: Block Buster. We rented some Ugly Betty discs to watch while we chowed down our sushi deluxe dinner.

And that's exactly what we did.

After dinner, I convinced Mama to play Dance Dance Revolution on the Wii with me. I should have video tapped it! It was so much fun.

Well, she got worn out quick (can't blame her, the game is very tiring) and we popped in another game called Boogie.
For those who don't know, this game comes with a microphone and you have to sing the correct notes to a song of your choice.

Wanna make a really big fool out of someone? Get them on that game.
Mama and I took turns making ourselves look like we were mentally retarded on that game. We replayed ourselves afterward and honestly I haven't laughed harder in years.

When the day was done and I was in bed, I began to realize just how much I have to be thankful for, and Mama Mayden's right at the top of the list.

Little things = A BIG difference

2008-11-18T12:57:00.000-08:00

Today was a really special day to me. It was just little things, but they added up.
Primo, (I'm listing it in Spanish) it came down that the decision for class rep between me and this kid named Connor. Everyone says that they'd rather have me for Rep, so it's a 90% chance I'll win.
Segundo, you know how after you tell something to a few people, it finally really hits you? It happend today with me.

Kaitlyn and Eli are better. In fact Kait's fine, and Eli's brain issue isn't serious. (Don't have any idea what I'm talking about? Go to Timmeh's Crib to get the details.)

Thirdly, (The spanish version left my head) two of my friends knew it was my birthday on Friday, and planned togeather to get me a Vera Bradly purse and wallet.

I adore Vera Bradly.

I knew I had real friends if they were actually willing to spend that kind of money on me. It was so sweet of them!

Fourthly, It snowed. In November. It NEVER does that here.
Since I was really young, I wanted it to snow on my birthday.
Three days before, I see two beautiful flurries.

I couldn't help it.

I started crying in math class I was so happy.

Little things came make a big difference, even if everything I listed sounds like nothing to you, it was all precious to me.
So next time you see someone looking down, do something just little.
It may mean more than you think.

Exciting Week

2008-11-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. This weekend I'm supposed to be going on this church get away thingy, but I have an issue.

My throat is killing me.

Momma said if it's no better by tomorrow, I ain't going. And if I don't go, Anna has threatend to hunt me down and either drag me there herself, or kill me on the spot. So... I'm going to grit my teeth, pray to God, and load myself with advil. I'll make it through, somehow.
I didn't go to school today, so I also missed basketball practice. And I won't be there for the game tomorrow. Coach is gonna be angry with me. I hope I make it out of Monday's practice alive....

Oh, the excitement in my life....

For Anna's sake...

2008-11-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

...She's very openly threatend my life if I didn't get a move on and start writing again.

So, as a first, I apologize for the time that has passed since my fingers met the keyboard.

Secondly, I'm in a lot of pain.
Basketball did it for me. I ran down and ruined my heel. I can't lift my foot without if killing me.

Coach did not see this as a excuse for me to quit playing basketball for a while. He said, "Ice it and wrap it at home, but on the court take off the bandage and play." Well, it wasn't like I was dying on the floor, and I had actually guessed Coach would say something along those lines. It fits him.

Mama came back home from her vaction this weekend. I'm so glad she's back! I had missed her soooooo much! My life should fall back into place since she's here.

After all, she's the general manager of the universe.

Okay Anna, I'm done for now. Please don't shoot me, okay?

-Da Pixie

Meh Friends and meh sport

2008-10-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd take a little time out to talk about the people who talk to me- A.K.A., friends.

Taylor is the first who pops in my head. The girl is so bubbly all the time! Oh, I just love her! She keeps a smile even when the going gets tough. Nothing brings her down. She's a cheerleader, and the position suits her.

You couldn't pay ME a million bucks to be a cheerleader.
Nope.
Uh-uh.
Nada.
Fogetta 'bout it!

The second is little Anna. Our basketball couch calls her 'Little Bit'. She is so short for her age, but she's got a big mouth. I've known the girl for years and absolutely adore her.

Thirdly is Connor. I've known the guy for years, and he cracks me up. He likes to act like a idiot, but he's a boy. I can't place much blame. His nickname for me was Ju-Ju. Taylor's was Tay-Tay.

His own?

Coco.

Chase is another girl pretty tight with me. She's ultra spunky, and her feelings get hurt rather easily. She's quick to bounce back, though.

Hmm... who else?

I get along with just about everyone, a few conflicts here and there. But I love to argue, so I enjoy my conflicts.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

So many people.... Heck, I could write all night!

But I won't.
Now you know a little about a few of the MANY people I talk to.

Now, for my sport.

I'm a basketball girl all the way. I love the sport. I've always had the hight for it, but last year was pretty bad. I tripped over my own two feet.
It's easier now, I actually know what I'm doing and what to look for on the court. It is hard, four suicides a day is tough on a girl. But it's SO much fun!!! While I'm with my team, I don't realize exactly how much work I'm doing!

I'm as stiff as unchewed bubble gum later though.

If you are looking for a work out sport, I recommend basketball highly. It's very comptitive, but very enjoyable.

Okay, I've ranted enough.
Cya next time!!!

My School Life... Oh Joy

2008-10-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

It's only slightly more interesting than the average teenager's. I'm the Prez of the Spanish club, a title I'm quite proud of. I've tried out for basketball (again, this is my second year) and I'm 98.6% sure that I've made it. I'll let you know on Tuesday. I'm going to run for Class
Representative, because most of the people in my class just decided I was the girl for the job. It felt like I didn't really have a choice. I was going to do it and I was going to like it. I'm okay with it, though. It's good to feel needed. I've got the exciting drama as well. I love gossip. I know, it's a sin, but it's SO much fun to listen to! I hear it all the time; "Did you know? Yes! That's what I heard!" and "Oh my gosh! He is like, in love with her! We knew it all along, though.". It is so exciting!

It isn't as much fun when you are the gossip.

Right now, I'm a fair piece of news. Between all the stuff I'm trying out for and this guy who I've heard has a crush on me, I'm fun to talk about.

I HATE being the center of attention.

Thank the Lord almighty, more interesting news piled in yesterday. A boy was riding his dirt bike and the handle slipped. The handle crushed him and damaged his liver badly. He's quite the talk now.

Oh, school.... my heaven and getaway(?) I love you so...

The Little Brown Bird

2008-10-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

This was a poem I wrote in 5th grade. I've edited it quite a few times, I hope you enjoy it.

I looked outside this morning,
And saw naught but shades of gray
Till a sweet little bird chirped to me,
How are you today?
The tiny bird was brown and black and then he started to munch,
On little yellow corn bits,
And things for good bird lunch
In the timeless moment the sun shone upon the bright green grass,
And color was appearing everywhere
With such a brilliant mass
There was a calico cat I remember I had seen,
Whose claws were white as pearls and whose coat was splotched and clean
The autumn leaves were colored in hues of orange, red and brown
And the lady next store retrieving her Sunday paper in a brilliant rose-pink gown
It had all come at me, oh so fast
The rays of color the morning had cast
And I thought it sweet and a bit absurd,
That it all started, with a little brown bird.

How was that? ^_^

Someone Else

2008-10-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about anything and everything last night as I got ready for bed, and I remembered something on the news about a girl being raped. I knew it was horrible, but most of the time I just tried not to think about the subject altogether. However, I started thinking last night how this girl’s life must have been altered. How her thinking must have changed. I started wondering how I would change if it were to happen to me.

I could see myself hiding. On the outside pretending to be okay, to try to blend in again, but on the inside I would curl up, safe and alone in my private darkness. I would probably realize that every selfish thing I wanted was so unimportant now. I think I would see everything in a different perspective.

I would look more strongly for traits in guys; someone who I already knew and I was sure would be trustworthy. I think that trusting people outside of those whom were already close to me would be impossible. I’d have lost the desire of friendship.

I can imagine how hard it would be to live- the weight of shattered innocence crushing me day after day.

What I have a harder time figuring out is how people would see me. What would they think? Would they be sad for me, apathetic, torn, broken, as I would be? I simply don’t know. I personally didn’t give much thought to it, and it really broke me to think that while this girl struggles day after day that people only give a moment of sympathy, and then she’s forgotten. Yesterday’s news. Thinking about it for just a few minutes allowed me to see through someone else’s eyes. To experience a horror that hadn’t happen to me. To live as someone else.

So now I give you the challenge:

Think about someone you don’t normally think about. Think about their life and their struggles. About the likes and their desires. And we will see if you too, can live for a moment as someone else.

I can tell, you're dying to know...

2008-10-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

...How my visit to the docter went. I was right, there was needles. In fact, there was three. Two in my left arm, one in my right. In 6 months, I get 5 more.

Life doesn't always agree with me.

Anyway, I did enjoy meeting my docter again. Like mama and I, she is blonde and hysterical. All three of us were cracking up in the room. I forgot it was a docter visit until shot-lady came in. I liked her too, just not what she was holding. That hepatitis shot hurt like absolute freakin' crap.
You know, this reminds me of a story.

Yay! Story time!

So here I am, an innocent 6 year old at the time, being taken to torture by my mama. She has already told me about a shot, and I'm trying to find some way out of it.

However, I was a 6 year old, and was coming up with nothing.

I get into the pretty white room, and a different shot-lady comes in with her torture tools. She smiles at me, and I burst into major tears. I'm sobbing and screaming trying to get away from shot-lady and mama. My brother, two years older than me and scared half to death, has crawled under a chair for shelter. A chair! A perfect hiding spot! I wrench my brother by the arm out from under the chair and hide. They'll never find me here!

Except for the small problem that both shot-lady and mama have watched me crawl under.
I get dragged out and sat down and... BAM! Shot goes in my arm, then comes out.

And I completely stopped crying.
Mama wasn't happy with me. She dragged me out of the clinic roughly. I was a smart mouth child, (gulity as charged) and asked mama where was my sticker. She just sighed and wrenched me along. I kept my head down after that.
She didn't really punish me, just told me I had better not act like that again. I didn't.
But you know what the sad part was?

I never got my sticker.

Life is like a battle field

2008-10-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

...Actually today was a lot of fun. I spent it with my closest friends, and we just acted like idiots all day.
Tommorow, however is a different story. I've got to get a physical done, and there is a chance of major pain by injection. *Shudders* Needles. Ugh. Give me strength. I will be brave. School takes on a war like quality as well. The people you deal with is a bigger issue than the work. Well, that's natural for a braniac like me though, isn't it? Life is like a battle field. I hope I win the war!

Look out world, here comes Da Pixie!

2008-10-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

Hello to all my adoring fans. I know you love me. Have no fear, I'll be here all week! Try the veal!
To those who know me, sorry it has taken me so long to get a blog. To those who don't, my name is Julie, but I'm more commonly known as 'Da Pixie'. I am the one and only proud daughter of Mayden, a avid blogger many of you who read this know. I, like my mother are insightful, cocky, and- okay, mama isn't this- a loud mouth. I love to argue, and I adore reading. I enjoy spending time with my friends, but I also need time to myself. This is to say the least about me.
One of the things I love about blogs and chats and meeting new people is that you can watch them grow. You can see the words you type affect people you have never met, and may never meet. I love blogs like Mayden's that show the beauty and power in words. I hope that I too will be able to possess and use this amazing ability, and be able to move and grow with the people- ones I've met and ones I haven't- who also share the joy in blogging.
...And my first post comes to an end.
See you next time!
-Da Pixie

Da Pixie Pages

My, Where did my life go?

A Seperate Blog, for the visual things

Dear Blog;

Wounded Lamb

The next generation.

My sun and I

Musings and poems.

Random spark of Joy.

Hey Friend

Bah Humbug

Risen

Words of "wisdom"... To the lazy and hurried

Rain kisses

Sounds of Sunshine, Sounds of Rain

Little fly

Mere Christianity: Chapter 2, Some Objections

Introduction: Mere Christianity

Autumn Glory

My favorite quote

Hey, hey it's me again

Three wishes

Selfish thoughts and selfless wishes

Dying Heart

*not named*

Gone

Mute Monday

Upon a dream

Seasonal Paradox

Chicken Noodle Soup

The Poet

Untouched

Naive

Who knew?

Written Dreams

Mongi will take over the world some day.

Pierced

Changing Heart

Spring Feva

Helpless

For Josh

Counting Whispers

Turning Pages

A confusing sundry of feelings and thoughts that I can post on my blog because its mine

Desperate housewives

Ummm... hormones?

Shrouded in the Storm

A Fairy Tale Week

Gone Tomorrow

Close Encounters of the Scariest Kind

Wal-Mart

Another Quiz - or two!

A Pixie's Tribute

One fine Day

Surgery

The Question I ask myself the most

My Background

The Merchant's Tale

My rap song....

The shortest blog post I have EVER written....

The Long Way Home

Different sides... of myself

A Break to the Beach

A cute waiter, an awesome cook, and shattered glass

Hurt

Funny Forwards

The color of character

Another Quiz I stole from a friend who stole it from another friend

A Family Obsession...

Sometimes... Life is Crap

And Thus, the next chapter of my LIFE begins

A random quiz I stole from a friend

This funny white substance we call: Snow

I'm Sorry!!!

Back at it again

X-mas count down

Back Home

My 20th post

Stupid People

The Magic of Make-up

not named